Sonic X: Enter The E100 Series
by Tylec Asroc
Summary: The Jerk. The Hero. The Goth. The Cowboy. The Curmudgeon. What happens when five lethal war machines survive Sonic Adventure? What happens when they're inserted into the actionadventure sitcom Sonic X? Can Sonic stop them every wekend? Don't meesit!
1. Haaay Guy! Hea We Go Again!

Disclaimer

* * *

Sonic the Hedgehog, Dr. Robotnik, the E-100 series and all other related characters copyrighted by Sega.

Decoe, Bocoe and Bokkun copyrighted by the creators of _Sonic X_.

* * *

I never thought _Sonic X_ would prove to be such a recurring source of stories, but here I am, at it again! For those of you newly joining, _Sonic X_ will enter its Third Season on October 5, 2003, thus marking the evolution from a mixture of _Dragonball-Z_-Emerald-Hunting and _Digimon_-Human-Guarding to pure Video Game Adaptation! Yessir, the next pirated videos will include Chaos, Big the Cat, Tikal and my personal favorite, E-102 Gamma! I'm really pumped!

I should warn you: if you haven't kept up with the Japanese series, then you've missed a lot. If you like SegaSonic and would like to catch up on the second season, I recommend episodes 14,15, 17, 18, 23 and the two-part climax of episodes 25 & 26.

Okay, let's get to it!

I'm sorry, let me try that again.

Heaves a deep breath and inflates his lungs.

Okaaay, Guy! Hea We Go!

* * *

**SONIC X: ENTER THE E-100 SERIES**

_A Story Written by Tylec Asroc_

_I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on, I go into another room and read a good book._

__

--Groucho Marx.

Clouds misted the sky, cloaking the twinkling lights of Station Square and forming a veil between dark earth and midnight sky. Below, the night life of the city was just dawning into its regular noise and drive, but above there was only the solitary hum of twin engines. Between the moonlight and silver clouds glided a ship, dominated by a large saucer-shaped front and propelled by a boxy engine piece balancing long, cyclindrical thrusters down its length. The moon's rays fell on the ship and for a moment there was a reflection so brilliant it consumed all in white light.

And from the light, came a voice...

__

Space … The final_ frontier._

__

These are the voyages of the skyship Eggterprise.

It's continuing mission:

To exploit strange new worlds,

To seek out blue life and its elimination,

To boldly go where no mecha has gone before.

This is

****

STAR TR_EGG_:

_THE NEGGST GENERATION_

Decoe swiveled his chair away from his console to address the crew. Though clothing was unnecessary, the golden mecha wore a blue shirt with a pointed insignia (or, in this case, ins_egg_nia) affixed to his breast. With his pill-shaped cranium, his audio sensors covered with pointy rubber ears and his optics half-closed, he was the spitting image of calmly smug Vulcan logic.

"Captain," he said in a voice which had been described as both whiny _and _nasal, "Sensors indicate possible anthropomorphic life-forms off the starboard bow. We can only assume that the hedgehog is nearby. I suggest we ready proton torpedoes."

But the Captain was not present on the bridge. Behind him was the Messanjah-Robo, giggling gleefully as he spun round in his swiveling chair. Scientific Officer Decoe could not decide whether it was the chair itself which incited such an overload in the 'bot's emotion-chips, or whether the black-beehive-wig-wearing robot was just delighted to find a dress that matched its red boots.

"Whee!" cheered the little black thing. "I'm Uhura! I'm Uhura! Hee hee!!"

The Vulcan-bot watched the cheap Chao-imitation for another moment, then assessed that he was the highest-ranking (or at least the most sane) officer on deck. "All hands to battle stations," he declared neutrally. Turning his chair, he began instructing the Chief-Engineer. "Increase forward deflector shields and engage thirty degree heading. I require engines at full power."

From the central control station, the ships Chief-Engineer gave a cry. "SAHR!! I'm already givin' her all Ah've gat! The engines, she won't take that kind o' stress. She'll bloh if we …"

They were definitely late in the series because Scotty had gotten fat. The only thing larger than the gray-haired human's gullet was his moustache: usually properly trimmed, it had somehow sprouted to an enormous length of gray handlebars. The scarlet-shirted engineer kept sputtering on his Scottish catch phrases until the Vulcan silently silenced him.

"It is only logical to engage the hedgehog at velocities equal to his own," Decoe pointed out rationally.

"But SAHR!! She won' take no more! She…"

"Hey, hey, HEY! SHUT UP!" That was Lieutenant Uhara; standing on her … or his, seat cocking a mechanical ear to the approaching clomp of footsteps.

"That would be the Captain," Decoe pointed out. "Once he returns we shall hear his orders and this conflict of interests shall be resolved by the proper chain of command."

At that precise moment, give or take a few introductory phrases, the bridge door slammed open and a pudgy little robot entered breathlessly.

"A'hm here, Cap'tn!" It announced in Scottish undertones. "Y'most fargive me sahr, but … the engines, thay were overheatin'! At tha rate this ship was moovin, she couldn'ta lasted … much …"

Dr. Robotnik had swung out of his chair and stomped up to Bocoe. They looked at each other, both wearing black pants down their skinny legs, both wearing red shirts over their considerable girth, both having a fuzzy moustache under their nose, both reaching up to scratch their heads and to adjust the itchy gray wigs they wore. They might have continued the mirror-routine longer, but then Robotnik's eyes scowled tightly and Bocoe's bugged out enormously. They spoke at the exact same moment, and in tones that reflected their irked or shocked expressions.

"I'm supposed to be Scotty!"

Lieutenant Uhara suppressed a nasty snigger. Decoe just moaned and slapped his forehead.

"Oh Prime, not again!"

Following the demise of the doctor's slanty-island-shanty Egg Tower, a special decree had been issued: every fifth day of the week was now Friday Theme Day, a sort of fun, dress-up day to boost the morale of his troops. It had always seemed a little redundant to Decoe since there were only five sentient beings aboard the Eggfort fleet … well, four, now that Kuno-I-Chi had gone and joined the great assembly of super-villains knocked into the sky.

Thinking about the ninja-mecha, he reflexively glanced out the window and tried to guess if that was her star up there, or just Team Rocket again. It was really sad to loose her; he'd always enjoyed his shy conversations with E-091. After the initial awkward hellos and pauses, they might discuss their Master's latest stupid plans, or she might tease him (E-01) about how she outranked him by ninety positions or they might play mahjong. Then there was that time she had dropped her sword and they'd touched hands, both trying to retrieve it, and the long, uncomfortable, and yet enjoyable look that followed.

Decoe sighed. ... He missed Kuno-I-Chi. Then he shook his head and resolved to pull himself together before the continuum altered into an angsty robo-slash fic. It would never work; neither of them had lips, anyway.

Besides, Dr. Robotnik and Bocoe were heating things up plenty.

"I specifically stated in the weekly memo that the role of Chief Engineer was to be played by…"

This happened every week. There was some advantage, Decoe supposed, to being tall and lanky instead of short and stout. Apparently having the same physical physiques increased the probability of choosing identical costumes.

There was Marvel Superhero Day, where Bocoe and their Master had stared goggle-eyed at each other, each sporting a white jacket, shiny head and diamond-tipped Kingpin cane. Then there was X-Men Day (or rather, Eggs-Men) where two bronze hover-chairs had collided, resulting in a shock for both chrome-domed Professors within. And Matrix Day … ugh, he did not want to remember the day where two Morphiuses, one short, the other mustached, appeared in black leather jackets and bare-frame spectacles to find The One. Robotnik could not copy himself like Agent Smith, but he had managed to replicate quite a few dents in Bocoe's frame.

"I sent out e-mails saying _I_ was playing Scotty!"

"Yeah, well … I called it first!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"N'uh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Don't go there, girl!"

"Oh, this has gone on quite enough!" Robotnik raged. "I am commanding officer on this ship and your Master! I order you to let me play Scotty!"

Checkmate, Decoe thought. No going against programming. Bocoe sulked over the outcome and muttered something that sounded like _eggman_.

"Fine, you be Scotty. I never wanted to be him anyway." He threw off his wig and tore away his moustache, pouting for a minute more before inquiring, "So … who am I gonna be, then? Sulu?"

Robotnik was just finishing a generous cat-stretch in his command chair and had a wicked grin on his face. "No, no Bocoe, I think you should play a role more fitting to your particular talents." He thought a moment.

"Why don't you be Ensign No. 15?"

Decoe was always amazed by his counterpart: whenever he thought the stubby bot's eyes had grown their largest radius, Bocoe surprised him and bugged-out even farther.

"ENSIGN 15!!" He blurted out, oil leaking from his armor in great big Anime-sweatdrops. "But … but … but…"

He was undoubtedly trying to comment on the fate of all non-regular crew members when Decoe spotted a large, hairy hand reach out from the corner of his vision and tap Bocoe on the shoulder. The little robot freaked out even more and tried to run, but could not get past the initial acceleration phase where one races on the spot before the Monster's hand throttled him by the neck (popping out Bocoe's eyes even more so) and dragged him off to some shadowy corner wherefrom were tossed screams and random body parts.

Decoe and the little courier-bot could only gape like dumbfounded fools. "That," declared the little black thing, "Was a bad one."

The golden assistant shook his head. "You surely haven't forgotten Anime Day, have you?"

Robotnik and Bocoe had both appeared as _Cardcaptor's_ Sakura. When they finally stopped bickering and bopping each other with flamingo-styled wands, Bocoe relented and agreed to be Sailor Moon. Then the robo-school-girl had been dragged off screaming by winding, slimy, dripping, voracious,

"Tentacles." Decoe and Little Black Thing gave a collective shudder.

Dr. Robotnik coughed to gain their attention. "Sad as it is to bring this artificial holiday to an end, we have business to attend to. Deck-Oh! Increase thrust by ten points and continue our current heading. I want this ship at the site in under an hour!"

"Speaking of _this ship_," Decoe piped up, "May I ask just what we're doing back in the Eggfort 2? I thought it got destroyed when we changed to Egg-Emperor-Zord mode and Super Sonic tore through the mecha like…"

"Like a paper shredder on Enron finaincial documents!" Little Black Thing chirped up, eager to prove his wicked wit by referencing a commonly known news event (and by avoiding the Swiss-cheese analogy.)

Robotnik turned his chair and leaned over so his moustache pinned down the two remaining lackeys. "I had an island fortress whose underground bunkers contained the Original Eggfort, a green assault ship with more than a passing resemblence to the old _Thunderbirds_ puppet series, a fleet of E-011 "Buzzords", a giant chicken with a fan in its stomach and all three components of the Eggfort Two. Do you really think I was so pressed for space that I couldn't squeeze in another ship?"

Decoe processed that information. "So… that means we're in the Eggfort Two 2?"

If not for Robotnik's continued glower, the Little Black Thing might have giggled something about frilly pink ballet leotards. But he shut his mouth and their Master gave an affirmative nod.

"Now get back to work," he growled. "We don't have much time left before we loose our new advantage against Sonic."

"Yeah, that's the thing Doc," piped up the button-faced messenger. "What's the big thing about these _super-new-mechas_? They don't look so tough t'me. I could beat 'em up like … Pow, POW! Pseewww…BOOM!!" He whizzed through the air awhile, making smashing and swooshing sound effects until Robotnik pulled a novelty paper fan from his pocket and swatted the black bug into Decoe's chest.

"owww…."

"On their own," Robotnik sneered, "These new mechas are certainly incapable of defeating the hedgehog. But, when combined with the knowledge I have uncovered, they will become an unstoppable force of G-rated destruction!"

Decoe thrust into the conversation. "There! You just mentioned this "Rating System" again. What are you speaking of when you refer to these "ratings" or "target audience" or "seasons"?"

Robotnik grinned the grin of a man satisfied with his immense superiority. "You mean you haven't' figured it out yet?" he mocked. Both Decoe and the black stain on his chassis shook their heads 'no'. The Doctor laughed and slapped his knee; delighting over a joke only he could understand. "Well, let me enlighten you. Look over there."

The tall and slim assistant started at his Master's shoulder and ran his optics down the length of the long arm, following the pointing finger down its course towards the Eggfort Two 2's bridge window. Little Black Thing beat him to the scream, but soon they were both shrieking with utter terror.

Just before the Eggfort's saucer-section, looming before them like a great glass monolith was a … a _screen_! It was transparent and made of millions of pixel-sized divisions, and it was a window to some great monstrosity. Sprawled out sloth-like on a couch and the adjacent floor, illuminated like blue ghosts by some unknown glow were _giant humans!_ One was pointing a thick wand right at their heads; one had his mouth gaping slightly; another had a finger excavating its nasal cavity.

Decoe's panic-protocols went into overdrive! "Dr. Lord Robotnik Sir … we're being monitored!" The scientist only crossed his arms, leaned a foot on the opposite knee and leaned back smugly in his chair.

"No, Decoe, we're being _televised_."

He and Little Black Thing huddled around their Master, pawing him for comfort and safety. "Can they … can they … hear…"

"Oh yes, according to my calculations they can hear us quite perfectly. _Understand_ us? Well, that's a different thing. They've pirated the transmissions from this world far to early. Whatever we say will be a foreign language to those creatures until they perform an operation called _dubbing_. Don't ask; I haven't got that far yet."

"Can … can we speak with them?"

"The skill takes powerful concentration and years of practice, however, yes, we could bridge our universes through a technique called _Fourth Walling_." The doctor mentioned this with an air of knowledge. "But it's highly difficult and unnecessary at this point. Even the great masters had difficulty performing, and could only communicate accidentally, as in times of great anxiety." Their gaze was ever on this newly discovered anomaly in the sky.

"All you need to know, my mechanical minions, is that those things exist in a plane of reality beyond our own; a dimension partially responsible for the creation of this backwater planet." He smiled. "I say partially responsible, because, once aware of the seasons and cycles they have programmed into our "Clockwork World", it becomes quite simple to move beyond our restraints; to "control the code" if you will."

Decoe could hardly keep his processors from overloading as he stared into all those vacant eyes, those slack jaws, those faces textured with acne and cookie crumbs. "And …" he stuttered, "Your new robots have something to do with … with … with them?" He pointed a shaky digit at the oppressive titans.

"Decoe, the E-100 series has everything to do with them."

* * *

Hmmm. Not the script-fic you were expecting? Yeah, I decided I should try some detailed humor in the vein of _KT-SHY_. Opinions?

NEXT TIME: Sonic mourns the great loss of a close friend. The Eggman reaches his destination and the great secret it holds.

Hang tight, dear readers! I'll be back before you can say "I Saw Shadow On Sonic X and it was so cool and so awsome and why the heck does he sound like Seto Kaiba??"

_--Tylec Asroc._


	2. Event: The Past, Summerized!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Though the night was late, lights still burned in the Thorndyke compound. In the northwest hall of the southern wing of the third sector of the mansion on the twenty-third hectare of land on the fifth quadrant of the small country Christopher called home, two small figures peered out a window. 

"Sonic sure has been gone a long time," Tails said glumly. Amy nodded along. "Yeah, sure has." 

A blue streak of light flashed across the window. "He's back," Tails stated. 

They slid away from the windowpane and trotted off to meet their blue friend. By the time they reached the great hall, Sonic had already burst in, but considering the size of the mansion, that was to be expected. The hedgehog was pacing across the floor, fists clenched and face scowling. They watched his feet stomp across the tiles, reach the wall and spin round to march across the floor again. Sometimes, Sonic lingered a moment at the staircase, looking up to the second floor. His observations would end with a frustrated growl and his pacing would continue. 

The eyes of Amy and Tails copied the hedgehog's motions, swinging blankly in their orbs like pendulums. 

"Sonic's really upset," Amy commented. 

"Yeah," Tails agreed. 

"He's been like this ever since that last fight with Eggman." 

"He hardly sleeps." 

"Barely eats." 

"Its almost as if something terrible is consuming him." 

"Some great guilt that's overpowering his will to live." 

"It must be…" 

"It has to be…" 

"Chris," they whispered together. 

The hedgehog shot his pointy nose in their direction. Amy and Tails stopped and gasped out a faint "ohh?" as their eyes shimmered like glassy orbs under fierce light. Sonic seemed to watch them with the weight of the world; so powerful was his stare that everything seemed to go weird and hazy, and the background around him seemed to meld into a kaleidoscope of smeared red and black shades that overstated his anger. Overwhelmed, Tails darted his eyes to the side and caught his reflection in the glass of a grandfather clock. Everything around he and Amy was in a strange mist as well, only theirs was a gently blue and gray, as if the elements of illusion were attempting to contrast their startled, innocent worry to their hero's sullen, yet handsome scowling. 

Sonic snorted and stomped out of the hall. 

Amy gave a little shudder. "I don't know what's happening, but something is wrong with Sonic." 

"It's not just Sonic," Tails said as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Everything has gone strange since … well, since he used Chaos Control." 

"I remember," Amy nodded. "While he was fighting the Egg Emperor, he planned to send Eggman and Knuckles and all of us back to our faraway world…" 

"But he stopped when he saw how much Chris would miss him," Tails finished. 

"But it was too late," Amy whispered; a chill went down her spine. "He had already activated Chaos Control; even Super Sonic couldn't contain that power. He managed to stop it eventually," 

"But not before part of our world was transported to the human planet. Now Angel Island and the Mystic Ruins are trapped here, just like we are." 

"And the chaos emeralds scattered again when Sonic powered down." 

"And then … Chris … fell ill; Sonic's been moody and guilty about it; Knuckles hates _all_ of us, because now he's got to keep the military off his island and Eggman …" the young fox gave a nervous pause. "Well, maybe he was destroyed when the Egg Emperor just … well, disintegrated, but maybe not. Maybe he's still out there somewhere, scheming something …" 

The conversation had just become far too overwhelming for Amy. She held back a cry and ran out of the hall, leaving Tails alone and greatly confused. "Hey … Amy, wait up!" 

He caught up with her on one of the upper level balconies. Amy had thrown herself on the railing and was sobbing underneath a moonlit sky. Tails hesitated at the doorway, then treaded lightly to her side. "Amy, you … you look sad." 

Her slender pink frame was quivering; her face was in her hands; her voice … well, Tails was upset to hear that voice, but not for any of the usual reasons, such as because it meant Amy was talking. He was upset because it was making the most miserable and fearful sobs and they touched his soul. 

"Amy, you're scared," he stated. 

She looked up at him and wiped her eyes. "Sonic and Chris aren't the only ones who've changed, Tails. Don't you feel it?" 

"Amy, I'm confused." 

She screamed. "Don't you see what's happening to yourself!? Don't you…" she looked into his precious, blue eyes and suddenly, she was without words. 

"I … I'm sorry Tails," she apologized. "I was wrong to yell at you like that; I'm only confusing you." She took a deep breath. "I'm talking about you. I'm talking about me. About … us." 

The fox went so stiff, he might have been dead and struck with rigamortis. _Us???_

"We … we hardly see Sonic anymore; we hardly spend any time with him. I mean, sure, we fly him around: you give him power rings, I give him hugs … or … at least I … try to …" She dug her foot sheepishly into the ground, oblivious to how his body was completely shaking, or how his eyes had exploded to such great sizes or how his pores were showering the floor with sweat. His lips were moving about strangely, as if he were trying to get them in the shape for whistling and he was inching towards her... 

"But, it's like we hardly know Sonic; that we just exist without him. Like it's just ... you and me …" 

_I can do this,_ Tails told himself. _Okay, all I have to do is close my eyes, leeaaan in sloowwwly and…_

Amy saw him, eyes scrunched up, snout extending toward her with wet lips like the slimy sucker on a leach. "Uhh… Tails?" 

His lips hovered in mid-air. The fox opened one of his eyes with what appeared to be a great effort and looked at her in sheer panic. "Urr, yuah?" he answered, trying to speak while keeping his mouth puckered like a fish. 

"Did … did you have that sour chewing gum again? You're all scrunched up…" 

The fox opened both eyes and let them zip around, vainly analyzing the situation. His lips drooped down like a wilting daisy. "Uhh… yeah. Yeah, that's it." He returned to his regular stance, though Amy could have sworn he was quite shorter this time. 

"Anyway…" Amy continued, giving Tails a bizarre look. "Things just feel different; it's like we don't even matter to Sonic anymore." 

"Amy, you're trying very hard to explain things, but I'm just not understanding**ggaaAPPP!"**

Amy's index finger had zipped right to his lips and was shushing him very personally. "There!" she whispered, as if trying to avoid some spying presence. "Don't you see? We never see Sonic; all we do is spend time with Chris, explaining things to him!" Her face was trembling again. 

"And it's changed us Tails. It's changed us. Do you listen to yourself? When … Whenever we talk, all we do is state the obvious, like … like we're trying to simplify things for a really stupid person! 

"And then we go away, we lie in our rooms or eat or sleep, and when we come back to see Sonic or Chris, we keep explaining things! It's all we ever do now, Tails; it's like …" she pulled her hair around her cheeks, trying so desperately to find the words. "It's like that's our purpose in life: to explain things and …" 

She broke down and fell into his arms, drenching his shoulder with her tears. "It's okay, Amy," he said comfortingly. He gave them some distance and picked up her chin. "Look, crying about this won't help … but … if there's anything ... I could do to … make you feel better … anything, really, well …" 

"Tails, your mouth is going all weird again." 

The fox dragged his eyes down his snout to look at his pursed lips. "Oh …" he mumbled, causing the squeezed rim of his mouth to melt away. "I … yeah, I guess it was. Heh heh. Weird, isn't it?" 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

"I'm sorry to say so, Sonic, but Master Chris' condition has yet to improve." 

"You're sure??" Sonic pressed the noble butler. "You're giving him all his medication, right?" 

"Every last elixir," Mr. Tanaka confirmed as he adjusted his glasses. "But, you must understand that his recovery will take time, given the severity of his illness." 

"But he'll be okay?" 

Tanaka frowned and hesitated. "Master Sonic," he began, crouching on his knee so he could address the hedgehog face to face. "This may seem harsh to say so, but Master Chris may never recover to his previous state of health…" 

Sonic scowled and backed off. "Yeah right! What do you know anyway, y'quack! He'll make it! You just wait!" 

"Your faith is admirable," Tanaka applauded. "But also misguided. Master Sonic, I don't believe you quite understand the extent of the damage suffered to the boy's respiratory system. It _is_ severe and you must accept that he may never heal properly." 

The hedgehog was about to snap off some more snide remarks, but the seriousness of the butler's words had struck down his defiance. "It's that bad, is it?" he asked downheartedly. 

"Master Sonic, never in my life have I seen a lad develop such a terrible case of a _sore throat_." 

Sonic stifled back something that sounded like tears. "It's my fault," he confessed. "If I hadn't gone and been so reckless around the Egg Emperor … well, Chris never would have screamed so much and he would be okay." He shuddered. 

"But he's not, Tanaka. He's not! My gosh, now he could be hoarse for the _rest of his life_! All the kids would laugh and make fun of him and call him Frog-Throat or Raspy-Randal or Stu-the-Stupid-Voiced-Jerk-Face!" 

"It would certainly be an improvement on his current set of aliases." 

"It's all my fault," Sonic repeated. 

"Try not to be so hard on yourself. Why don't you go and see Chris in his bedroom? He is napping, but I am certain he would be pleased to see you." 

Sonic gave a strange twitch and threw a hand over his left ear. "No, sorry Tanaka, but I'd better not." And he bolted down the hallway before the butler could get in another word. 

Sonic slammed the door of a random room. He'd hoped to be alone for a while, but there was someone else here in the darkness, her fur coloured a blue similar to his own thanks to the illumination of a television set. 

"Oh, hello Mr. Sonic-san," smiled Cream, jarred back to consciousness by the slam of the door. "Did you see Chris yet?" 

"Nope, and I ain't going to," Sonic replied, flopping down on the bed along with the rabbit. 

"But why is that Mr. Sonic-san?" she asked while flipping channels. "You spent all that time with him last week." 

Sonic gave the walls and ceiling a thorough look over. "Cream … can you keep a secret?" 

"Nope," she declared. "I'm six years-old _and_ I'm a girl. As soon as you go, I'm gonna go tell Cheese an' Ela an' Amy an' …" 

"Well, whatever," Sonic said to shush her. "I gotta get this off my chest and maybe you can help me." 

Cream turned away from the TV set and faced him. She was pretty sure that Mr. Sonic was referring to some deep emotional trauma, but for no logical reason (besides the fact that she was a stupid six-year-old) Cream felt a strong and strange compulsion to scan his torso and rip out his fur. 

So she did. And Sonic let out a great _yeeoOUCH_, followed by a calm and cleansing _AAHHhhhhh_…. 

"Thanks Cream," he sighed. "It's like a band-aid, and I just don't have the guts to yank 'em off sometimes." 

Cream looked at the bundle of torn stomach-fur and noticed the sticky lollipop. "… Eww…" 

"Thanks," Sonic grinned, relieving her of the fistful of fur. "I was gonna save it for later but … well, it just wouldn't come out." He gave the candy a big lick before realizing that the gumdrop center was covered in more hair than Eggman's upper lip. Sonic made a sick face and tossed the lollipop away, trying to act as casual as possible as he raked the fur off his tongue. 

Cream cleared her voice for attention. "So, um, you needed to talk?" 

"Huh? Oh yeah, that." Sonic scooted closer to her and spoke cautiously. "Y'see Cream, the thing is, I was spending a lot of time with Chris, but … I dunno; ever since that thing with Chaos Control … well, funny things have been going on whenever I'm around the kid." 

"Really?" Cream exclaimed curiously. "Like what?" 

"Well, I…" Sonic broke off and looked to the door, fearing the shadow of someone's boots under the frame. He shuffled even closer to Cream and leaned over carefully, grabbing one of her floppy ears like a Kleenex and whispering into the droopy rag of fur. 

"I … I hear voices." 

"Voices?" Cream gasped. Her voice was not skeptical or mocking. It was more of an eager curiosity. "What do they say?" she inquired a little quickly. 

"Well, it's kind of weird, because there's lots of them: high voices, low voices, girls and guys and they're all talking at once and making all sorts of echoes. And … when I'm with Chris, well, it's like they get so much louder. 

"Some of the voices just talk to themselves and say stuff about me like _why's he wasting his time with that gimpy dork?_ Or _Oh come on, why isn't he out looking for the chaos emeralds?_

"But there's others, and these ones talk at me, and try to make me do things. Some of them say _Leave him. Leave the kid._ Or _Tell the baby to stop whining._ There's one, and I'm pretty sure it's a girl, that, whenever I'm with Chris keeps saying _Kiss him! Kiss him!_

Cream did not seem to doubt him. She just nodded her adorable head at his words and thought about what he said. "And when did they start talking to you, Mr. Sonic-san?" 

"Almost right after I pulled that Chaos Control stunt and screwed up our worlds. The girl was going pretty crazy when I gave Chris a friendly hug." He forced a grin over his embarrassed face. "Voices … heh, heh, that must sound really stupid…" 

"No it isn't, Mr. Sonic-san," Cream smiled, her face lit up with compassion. "I believe you." 

"Re … Really?" He could hardly believe this; here was someone who believed him? Someone putting down the logical assumptions of reality and siding with him? … He had carried this secret guilt for weeks, fearing ridicule if he ever spoke … But, Cream … wow. What faith there was in the heart of a child! 

"You really believe me?" 

"Of course I do." Cream giggled and leaned in close to his own ear. "I hear them too, Mr. Sonic-san." 

Sonic's face drooped as if he had grown fifty years in five seconds. 

"They talk to me alllll the time," Cream declared, so happy that she was bouncing on the bed. "They tell me I'm cute an' sweet an' tell me what a pretty bow-tie Cheese has an' I talk to them and we tell stories and stuff! We're best friends!" she declared. 

Sonic aged another fifty years: his eyes dropped into his cheeks, his jowls hung in his lap. 

Cream pulled at his limp arm with an offering. "C'mon, I'll intraduce ya to them, Mr. Sonic-san!" 

"Err, no thanks kiddo, I've got stuff to do." 

"Really?" she exclaimed, no less excited than when they first started the conversation. "Like what?" 

"Oh … you know, hero stuff." 

"You mean like sleeping in a tree or napping on the balcony or daydreaming on the roof?" 

"Yeah, yeah that's it." 

Cream turned her head. "He's got to go," she whispered to the wall. "M-hmm. M-hmm? Okay, maybe he'll come meet you guys next time. Bye!! Huggles and Kissies!!!" 

If ever some sort of lobby group needed a poster-child for the damaging effects of television, Sonic mused, Cream would be number one on the list. He tiptoed out of the room while the rabbit with fewer working brain cells than Roger waved her farewells to the people living in the walls of the Thorndyke clan. 

"Don't forget to pick up the phone on the stand outside of the room, Mr. Sonic-san!" Cream called after him. 

Sonic had just clicked the door shut and spotted the old fashion phone with the circular numbers you spun to dial. He didn't see much sense in it, but he took the receiver to his ear anyway. 

A voice in his ear swore in shock and muttered to itself. "Jeez! I just put in the last number, how'd he do that? … Sonic?" 

"Uhh, yeah, that's me," he replied, a little puzzled at the coincidence of his timing. 

"Do you know who this is?" 

Sonic thought a moment. "Yami Yugi?" 

"It's Knuckles!" 

"Oh … hey bro, wassup? When did you learn to use a phone?" 

"Don't start on the wisecracks, hedgehog. I'm here on business: Dr. Eggman's been spotted." 

"You saw him?" Sonic exclaimed. 

"No, it was one of the military's secret agents; they wanted me to make the call because I know you." 

"Wait, wait, hang on. What are you doing with the military?" 

"I'm working with _them_," Knuckles sneered with more than a touch of resentment. "They agreed to keep their excavation crews off Angel Island in exchange for my services. That, and they promised to send me home." 

"Home?" Sonic exclaimed. 

"Yes, which is more than you've ever offered me, Bluebell. The military says they're studying how to harness the power of Chaos Control." 

"So they're after the emeralds now?" 

"They'll be safer in their hands than yours, Mr. Let's-let-Eggman-run-off-with-the-violet-emerald-it's-okay-as-long-as-we-keep-the-stupid-humans-happy." 

"You're still sore about that thing with the fire-breathing-mantis? Weazo, was it?" 

"That AND the baseball fiasco," Knuckles hissed. "But back to business: Dr. Eggman's ship has been spotted and the military is ordering you to go and stop whatever he's plotting." 

"_Ordering_ me???" 

"That's right. You're either with us or against us. The top generals even received a personal letter from President Shrub regarding this operation: if you refuse to follow our military hegemony, they have authorization to shoot you on grounds of being insubordinate and unpatriotic." 

"Whoa, watch it Knux." 

"I'm only the messenger, hedgehog … but that's not to say I don't like the plan…" 

"No, I mean _watch it_. Military hegemony? Unpatriotic? President _Shrub_, as in _foliage_? Dude, you're going to turn this fic into an extreme leftist political commentary if you're not careful." 

Knuckles growled. "Look, just shut up and take some offensive initiative in stopping Eggman for once." 

"Ow! Touché!" 

"Now, got a pen? According to our sources, The Doctor is heading towards …" 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

"The Station Square Hall of Records," Robotnik announced, having already reached the building long before those military pea-brains estimated. 

He strolled down one of the long, tall aisles of oak, some containing files on family genealogies and immigration information; others shelving big, fat historical books about the people and organizations that had built the fair city. His boots clicked as he walked down the dim-lit aisles, speaking to his lackeys working up ahead. 

"On the surface, this is merely an aged and dusty museum storing historical data," he commented, pulling a random book of the shelves and skimming the pages as he walked. "But there is more to this facility than meets the eye…. 

"This is one of several 'Control Centers' placed into our world by those creatures from the external reality. Here, data is collected on the workings of our world and agents may perform routine maintenance or reprogramming where necessary. 

"But," he said, snapping the book shut. "What if one of the mindless drones of this planet was to learn the true purpose of this place? What if he was to discover the awesome power hidden within one of these books? What if he was to use that power to alter his existence, to reshape things to his liking?" 

"What if," he continued, exiting the aisles and coming into a study area occupied by tables, "What if that man happened to be the world's greatest scientific genius and rightful ruler of this planet? What if that man were… 

"Me." 

"Well sir," panted the newly restored Bocoe, "I suppose he would go and get that power. But first he would send his ever-faithful, always-loyal minions who live to serve and who really, _really_ love him even though he's not really that nice to them, to do all the hard stuff." 

"Correct," Robotnik grinned. "Now move that five-ton crate of books over here!" 

Decoe and Bocoe moaned in unison. "Yes sir." 

The study area was littered with crates hauled up from the archives in the basement. Torn casings, straw padding and books of all sizes and colours had been thrown about the tables and floor, and _still_ they had not found the right one. Well, it would show up soon. And if Sonic came to stop him, all he had to do was flip through his portable SUPAH-MECHA-MONSTAH-ROLODEX and choose a random grunt to stall the hedgehog. 

Decoe and Bocoe went at the latest wooden crate, prying their metal digits under the corners. "Lift with your legs!" Robotnik reminded them. Both muttered something dirty, and continued, making their motors whine until the storage container was above their heads and resting on their hunched backs. They started towards their Master, like slaves carrying great slabs of stone under the hot sun. The analogy did seem a bit ridiculous, if one pondered why the slaves might be carrying great bricks on their back when an easier and time-efficient strategy would be to roll the slabs of stone overtop logs, or, if available, to use much stronger teams of horses, which the slaves could take care of as their duty. It became even stranger when one wondered why exactly the slaves might be moving the logs: was it for the construction of some great shrine, like a pyramid, or was it simply their master's daily exercise in ordering them around pointless manual labor? In fact, the comparison was utterly ridiculous, when examined with a shred of conscious thought, but, for the moment and given the the events, the comparison described the situation passably. 

As Bocoe and Decoe labored, the third and lesser-known stooge of their group flew by, laughing like a delighted child. 

"Heyyyy Boss!" grinned the little black thing as he hovered in front of Robotnik, thrusting his fists before the Eggman. "Pick a hand!" 

The game was more of an exercise in idiocy, since the book hidden in the little robot's left hand was bigger than its entire body. Robotnik looked delighted anyhow, and snatched the aging text from his messanjah-robo. 

"At last! We've found it! Come, my minions, gather round and behold the key to our ultimate victory." 

Decoe let go of the immensely heavy crate and jogged over to his Lord Robotnik. Bocoe was still underneath. His body jerked down under the added weight and his knees buckled. 

"Uhh… little help here?" 

With Decoe looking over one shoulder and Little Black Thing over the other, Robotnik raised the old leather-bound book and blew the dust off its jacket. The text reeked of age and the occult; or at least LBT thought so. He had yet to see a movie where a dangerous and evil book was not clasped shut with a golden lock across its front cover. As soon as the dust was off its jacket, the book seemed to glow with a supernatural light, illuminating their awed faces and reflecting off the polished surfaces of their bodies. There was something mysterious and entrapping about this book, he thought; it seemed to consume your entire attention. Not even the sound of a five-ton crate of books flattening a pudgy gray robot could make you look away. Yeah … there was something creepy about this weathered text, and when he'd first spotted it in a musty corner, he'd had some strange, inexplicable feeling that this was the book his Master wanted. 

On the cover was a blue emblem of Sonic's head, followed by a big red X. 

"Yesss," Robotnik purred. "I finally have the power that will allow me to defeat that interloping hedgehog!" 

"Umm, sir, that is wonderful, and we all share your joy," Decoe began. "But, quite frankly we're both still feeling quite clueless as to your plans. We know that you want this book, and that it's going to help you defeat Sonic, but … you still haven't told us what it does! We haven't advanced our position a bit: all you've done is yapped about how you're going to destroy the hedgehog, and you do that _every other day!_" 

His remarks were deserving of a swat from the doctor's large paper fan … No, on second thought, this time he was going to get the big mallet. Yes, right on the noggin. But, instead, his Master only laughed and patted him on his enlarged head. 

"Very observant of you, Decoe. You're absolutely right on every account, but you'll have to wait until next time before I reveal just what I'm up to." 

And with that, The Doctor placed the book under his arm and strolled for the doors, leaving Decoe, LBT and a two-dimensional Bocoe (who was little more than a googly-eyed skull cap with feet) speechless. 

"But why?" Decoe shouted after the diminishing fat man. "Why won't you tell us!?" 

"Because," The Doctor grinned as he stopped and looked back, "Nothing crucial to my plan _can_ happen yet. This is a _Filler Episode!_" 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

NEXT TIME: Something important happens. No, really I promise! … Aww, come back, pleaaase? 

Hang tight, dear readers! I'll be back before _Popcorn_ from the Green Hill Zone can say, "Sonic Heroes is Lame!" 

_--Tylec Asroc._


	3. Team Good Guys!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Sonic pressed his nose against the canopy of the X-Tornado and frowned at what he saw. "Okay," he said to his twin-tailed pilot, "I know Eggman's tried a lot of crazy stuff before but … a _shopping mall_??? Why would he wanna take over a _shopping mall_???" 

The split-winged jet with its large thrusters circled the mall at its softest speed, making continual passes over the three-story marketplace of merchandise and the saucer-topped form of Eggfort Two 2 consuming the entire parking lot. 

"Egghead is nuts, Sonic. He doesn't need a reason for all the stuff he does." The truth was, Tails didn't know any more than Sonic as to why The Doctor was here, and if what Amy had told him was true, then if _they_ couldn't explain the madman's presence, no one could. 

Tails converted to X-Cyclone mode and the bipedal mecha-plane landed atop a looping parkade across the street. The fox hoped it was enough distance to keep their ride out of that ship's firing range. "I would be so relieved if I could figure out where he keeps all these ships," he explained to Sonic. "It's like he's got some never-ending supply." 

The ground team linked up hands and Sonic dashed them across the moonlit street and towards the mall. Eggfort Two 2 was patrolled by giant E-12 _Sentinel's_ and Sonic decided it was best to avoid the ivory hunchbacks lest one send out a distress signal and wake the entire crew of mechas aboard the ship. He dashed round to the back and halted at a large, riveted supply entrance where semi-trucks unloaded their wares into the mall, and he gave his crew a firm look-over. 

There was Tails, of course, since he was the only one who could fly the X-Tornado. The fox shifted around and waited for the order to toss a power ring. Amy had come along too. She was annoying and near useless, but considering that leaving her behind meant taking loony ol' Grandpa Chuck instead, Sonic almost always took Amy and her wacky hammer on these excursions. She was getting rather giggly from all the tension, but she had just enough sense to keep out of danger. 

When he chose to ride inside the cockpit, The X-Tornado had room for one more, and it was always Sonic's most difficult decision to pick a fourth member. Chris was ill; Cream was suffering brain damage and he didn't know who was the better pick: an eccentric old geezer who worked on his laptop in the bathtub, or a nutty family butler whose internet chat-name was _sxy_s@murai55_. 

"You guys ready?" Sonic checked. 

"I'm all set," Tails confirmed. "I can't wait to get to some action after that ride; it was so long." 

"That's because Eggman was finished at the records hall when we got there," Amy told him. "And we had to fly around the whole city, trying to find up his ship's energy signatures." 

Tails picked up the story. "And it was tough because this latest ship has some weird cloaking device. It was only pure luck that we found it parked here." 

Sonic blinked a few times. "Err, I know that guys; I was with you all the time." 

"We know," Tails and Amy muttered sullenly. 

"It's just that," Amy started, "Well, Tails started going, and I just … well, I felt I had to tell what had happened, like there was someone who didn't know what we had just done." 

"Not that there was anything interesting to tell," their fourth team member said with a smirk. 

Sonic looked upwards at scrutinized the human. "So, how 'bout you, all set?" 

"I believe I am," the human nodded. "It was rather unexpected, your offer to bring me along, I mean." 

"We were pretty surprised too when you just popped up by the hangar." 

"Yeah," Tails chimed in. "Well, we're all glad you could come along and help." 

"My pleasure," the human smiled. 

Sonic grinned back. "No, pal, we really mean it. Thanks so much for coming along." 

"You are most welcome, my blue friend." 

Sonic gave a chuckle. "And you are most welcome on our journeys anytime you wish, my human buddy." 

Amy snapped, conveying an annoyance shared by a greater body. "Well?? Isn't _someone_ going to say his name and tell us who he is????" 

The hedgehog and fox gave her a most bizarre look. "Jeez Amy, don't get all fussy," Tails grumbled. "We all know his name, we've met him before." 

"Yeah," Sonic butt in. "And I was just going say that we'll make the best team ever: Sonic the Hedgehog! Tails! Amy Rose and …" 

... 

"AAANND????" Amy's distress was not that different from a child who needed to use the bathroom. 

"Sorry," Sonic said. "I was just stopping to pick this broccoli out of my teeth. Okay there … almost got it … almost … Almost … there! Ah, whadya know! It was really just a piece of spinach. Weird how I get those two mixed up, although … I don't remember eating spinach recently. And broccoli? Well, you can imagine how often that makes my diet…" 

"JUST FINISH THE STUPID ROLE CALL!!!!" 

"…" 

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain Sonic speaking. In the interest of keeping my head affixed to my shoulders, I'm going to skip ahead to the important stuff. 

"Okay, as I was saying, we're going to be the best and baddest team ever!" And as he spoke, he felt such a rush of power blaze through his body! He could almost feel energy swirling through the air in streaking, colourful motion lines, bringing his monologue to heights of interest and excitement that words alone could not accomplish! 

"Sonic the Hedgehog!" (For no great reason, merely because the spinning world energized him so, he spun around, gave a thumbs-up and shifted into a cool pose. A flash of light seemed to accompany his modeling.) 

"Miles "Tails" Prower!" (Tails punched the air with his fist and posed as well. Sonic could almost feel the air exploding behind the fox.) 

"Amy Rose!" (Amy blew a kiss and performed a complicated, multi-phased curtsy. Everything seemed to blaze sugary pink hearts.) 

"And our latest addition, the one, the only, the…." 

"STUART!" 

All the energy Sonic had imagined materializing dissolved into nothing as the grade-school teacher struck a battle stance that had most likely originated on the dance floor of a disco parlor. They were just three little anthropomorphs in a back alley, watching a slightly longhaired ex-Hippie growing more and more self-conscious as he took in their deadpan looks. 

"Umm… Stuart?" he tried again. "Stuart the Human?" Sonic noticed an awful lot of crickets in the night. 

"Err… my apologies," Sensei Stuart said with a blush as he resumed a natural stance. His eyes squinted shut and he gave the back of his head a sheepish scratch. "I suppose I got carried away in the excitement of the moment." 

"Yeeahhhh." Sonic's confidence rushed out with his air. 

"Do we have a team name?" Tails inquired. 

And suddenly all that energy was back! "We sure do," Sonic said with a wild-man's grin. He felt like the world was spinning around him in blue flashes of horizontal light; he felt like he was on a crag of rock and being lifted high above his surroundings in a position of power and strength! "We sure do!" he said again, executing a complicated series of spins and poses. "We're the meanest, the baddest, the coolest! We're …" here came the big explosion, "TEAM GOOD GUYS!" 

Back to the alley. The wind rustled and crickets chirped. Tails blinked and Stuart scratched his head. Amy coughed. 

Sonic frowned. "Oh, forget it! My genius is wasted on you simpletons. Let's just get inside." And with a flash, he had carved a human-sized doorway through the supply entrance. 

"Okay, here's the deal: we go quietly, and we go carefully. I can zip by and not be noticed, but you three have to keep it down or else one of the robots will spot you." He was never this cautious, but something about their midnight time frame implanted a serious tone in the hedgehog's brain. It was as if the elements in all of their darkness were giving him a sort of forewarning of the danger that might lie ahead. 

But that was just being silly. 

"Okay, Tails you first … okay, Amy get in, you next. Stuart, you set?" 

The lanky human nodded and gave a dark smile. "I look forward to seeing you in action, Sonic." 

Sonic tried to smile back, but he didn't think he got his usual cheery impression across. Who was this guy? He didn't have much to go on except Chris' after-school reports and apparently Sensei Stuart was a nice guy and well meaning, but not very bright. Still, Sonic couldn't help but feel a chill run up his spine whenever he was around the man. Something about him … maybe it was his overly calm demeanor or maybe his icy smiles, but something about him gave Sonic the impression of ulterior motives and of secret thoughts. 

He couldn't quite pin the man down yet. The cool way he moved suggested that he was well adapted to stress and danger. The way Stuart popped up in his affairs like a bug off the wall spoke of more than a passing interest in the hedgehog. The way the light flashed across his half-moon spectacles in a thinly veiled manner seemed to say, _look at me, I'm a spy! Ha ha ha!_ But whoever Stuart really was, Sonic still couldn't figure him out. 

"Okay then, let's do this." 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Walking through the dark and abandoned shopping mall gave Amy such a chill. Not a shopkeeper, not a soul anywhere; just the whispered rush of their nervous breathing. She pushed past Miles and scooted up to her true-blue hero. 

"Sonic?" she asked in an unsteady voice. 

"Huh?" His mind was focused on the walkway ahead. "Whadya want?" 

She burst. "Can we stay and camp out??? I could be first in line for all the coolest shops!" 

Stuart, Sonic and Tails all shushed her. 

"Hey wait, what was that?" Sonic's quills had sprung up like loose springs. 

"What was what?" Stuart whispered nervously. 

"Ssh. I think we're getting close to Eggman." 

Amy was puzzled. "Howd'ya know that?" 

"Because the background music just changed." 

"A, G, F, e, g#, A, G, F, e, g#…" 

Sonic raised his finger at the humming fox. "Ssh. We've gotta be super quiet from here on in." 

One-by-one, Tails air-lifted them to the second-floor railing that ran across the walls where the stores and boutiques were stacked in convenient little columns that brought shopping to new heights. They crept on, guided by moon spilling through the skylights. 

With every step they took, the whine of motorized limbs and moaning voices grew louder until Team Good Guys found themselves in a tall, open plaza where the walkway ran around as a hexagon. Normally the expansive first floor would be set aside for car sweepstakes or, at Christmastime, Santa Claus's winter wonder-town. But tonight, some very sinister merchandise was being prepared for display. 

"Move it, loafers! … Watch where you put that! … That's fragile, be _careful_!!" 

Eggman was buzzing around in his hoverpod and chastising his labor crew of E-12 Sentinels rather excessively. The ten-foot giant drones gave no indictable response, but monotonously went about their stacking and positioning of the doctor's soundstage. 

Besides the draping back curtain with Robotnik's grinning countenance, the girder construct was very much like an ordinary stage, with spotlights blaring multiple colours and black speakers stacked to the sides. There were two levels, the top holding a metal pulpit that was obviously for the brains of this operation. The lower was showcasing five tall, steel crates, each highlighted in a beam of light. The Sentinels lifted about larger equipment while Robotnik's gold and silver assistants wheeled in a container of manageable size. The Messanjah-Robo, with which Sonic and his friends were better acquainted, was loafing about atop a metal chest. 

Four sets of eyes spied all this, crouched behind the circling railing of the second floor. "Whoa," Tails remarked. "They're putting together some sort of soundstage!" 

Sonic snorted. "Not anymore. Stand back guys, I'm ending this now." 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

At about the same time that Robotnik was debating the cruel and unloving tactics he used to enforce his troops and the relation his demeanor might have with his mechas rate of internal-heating and stress levels, one of the Sentinels exploded. 

His eyes went wide and he was on the verge of reforming his ways of cruelty when he noticed the blue streak of light skidding to a halt in the middle of the plaza. "Sonic," he hissed. 

"And company!" came another voice, and a chain of three companions, holding each other by the feet, puttered down from the balcony. The fox at the top was hyperventilating over the weight of his passengers. 

The mechas stopped and went into stiff ready-positions. Someone screamed, maybe Decoe. Robotnik scowled and lowered his pod so he could hop down onto the soundstage. "Well, well," he mused. "Heroes. Let's see whom we have tonight. Sonic: the overlooked protagonist; Miles: the minister of the department of power-up items; Amy, the damsel in distress who tries hard to overcome the stereotype and … hmph, some random human picked off the street to act out the audience's surrogate reactions. How predictable." 

"It's over Egghead!" Sonic snapped. "If you come quietly, maybe we'll throw out the shoplifting charges!" 

"Yeah!" the other three chimed in unison. 

"But there's one thing I don't understand," Sonic mused. "Why a shopping mall! Of all the targets, why this dump?" Amy gave a cry of protest. 

"Law of Exotic Locations," Robotnik shrugged. "I'm _required_ to attack landmarks which the audience may easily distinguish and recognize." The Doctor gave a sneer. 

"Well," he continued, strolling over to the pulpit while the mammals watched him tensely and his robots waited for the attack order, "I was hoping to put my plan into action tomorrow when I would have a great crowd to terrorize, but, ho ho! this is all I really wanted. Hedgehog! Prepare to meet your doom!" 

As a warrior might draw his sword, the madman drew a pen from his pocket, tore off the cap with a flourish and jabbed it into the podium. Everyone flinched over the shriek of scraping metal, but the Eggman seemed the most surprised to find there was nothing at all on the pulpit. 

His eyes bulged out again. "The book … the book … WHERE'S THE BOOK!!!" 

Decoe and Bocoe panicked. "Gahh!!! It's still in the box!!!!" 

Sonic's eyebrow pricked up. "So… you're lookin' for some dumb paperback, eh?" He spun to face the quivering stooges, who had just pulled the sacred manuscript from the chest they attended. "Oh, never mind, I found it." Decoe and Bocoe shivered ten times faster. 

Robotnik snapped. "Keep your paws off!!! All mechas: get the book! You, Little Black Thing: smokescreen!" 

LBT took to the air and dug into his satchel, tossing a handful of dark marbles like a fan of ninja stars. They exploded, sending bursts of light over the scene and screams of blindness into plaza. 

"No, you fool!" Robotnik cried as he shielded his eyes and pulled down his safety goggles. "Smokescreen, not flash bombs!" 

It was too late, and the night was lit up with chaotic explosions of light. The Eggman, observing the scene through his filtered vision, was the only one who could see thing consistently. Decoe had the book and was running for the stage. The pink hedgehog made chase and was raising her hammer. 

FLASH! Decoe was on the ground; Amy had the book. LBT was swooping down for a tackle. 

FLASH! The messenger was flat on the claw of a Sentinel. Amy was being carried by Sonic. 

FLASH! A Sentinel's fist swung. The hedgehogs sailed through the air. The book went wild. 

FLASH! An E-12 had the book and was stomping towards him. The fox hovered behind. 

FLASH! The goliath was down! The fox had the ball. Two more giants moved to intercept with laser fire. 

FLASH! Two more Sentinels burned! The teacher stood tall with a mirror in his hand. Bocoe went after the low-flying Tails. 

FLASH! Sentinels cornered the teacher. Bocoe tackled the fox. The girl screamed. 

FLASH! Bocoe was running for the soundstage like a football player on a hot streak! Yes, go Bocoe, go! 

FLASH! Sentinels falling to pieces, a blue buzz saw looming over the gray 'bot. Oh no… 

The last flash packet exploded and from the light was tossed the dismembered body parts of Robotnik's security chief. He flinched as a gray skullcap landed near his feet. 

"I'm beginning to notice a pattern here…" 

Bocoe's hand still gripped the book, and the limb was sailing through the air. The Sentinels were all scrap; the fox was down; Decoe and the female were tangled. Sonic jogged for an easy interception… 

"Wheeeeee!!!" 

And then, buzzing through the air like some giant nuisance of a mosquito came Little Black Thing! The courier snatched the book just before Sonic could grab it and jetted to the soundstage! Robotnik cackled. "Oh YES!" 

The oversized pest circled his head and landed on the podium, dropping the book into place. At once, the pages flew open and a golden light exploded from the text, whipping a fierce wind through the room. LBT was blown away. Sonic and Amy yelped and stood their ground against the onslaught of the supernatural. Outside, storm clouds brewed and lightning struck the glass ceiling. Stuart stopped his examination of Tails and looked up in distress. 

A vortex of energy was firing from the book, catching Robotnik's figure in a terrifying, teeth-gnashing gold. His mustache whipped like trees in the wind. Decoe and Little Black Thing backed away to the side of the soundstage, holding each other in a terrified hug. 

Robotnik cackled, and through the storm of power his voice grew deep and vast. "And now, Sonic the Hedgehog," he announced with demon-like baritone, "Prepare to meet your end." His hand thrust into the air; the black, inky tip of the pen gave an evil glimmer and he _stabbed _the book, writing some foul, dark spell into the ancient pages and causing the elements to shift to total chaos! 

Lightning shattered the skylights. Amy screamed and ducked into her hero's embrace. Rain fired into the room like bullets, sending bursts of sparks from the Sentinel corpses. Tails jumped back to life and knocked over Stuart. Decoe and Little Black Thing shrieked for mercy; through it all, Robotnik only laughed and laughed and continued to pen his dark magic into the book. Thunder crashed and electrical bolts fired into each of the five crates on the stage, charging them with a terrible glow. 

"It's done!" he announced, dropping his pen to the floor and silencing the madness. Anthropomorphs and robots slowly unclenched their eyes and looked about the quiet place. Gentle rain drizzled through the shattered rooftops. The five metal crates continued to glow. Robotnik breathed heavily, gripping the pulpit to stay on his feet. "It's done," he panted, smoke rising from his hand. "My ultimate creations are ready." 

He weakly raised a fist and let gravity slam it down to the podium and into a Big Red Button. Air hissed and the steel crates opened along their edges, slowly unfolding, sides clattering on the stage, contents revealed. 

"ENTER THE E-ONE-HUNDRED SERIES!" 

Five figures stood tall in the rain. Sonic thought they looked like bipedal frogs with their floppy, backwards limbs; long feet and round, hunched bodies which were head and torso fused together. "Ultimate, shmultimate!" he snorted. "Tails!" 

On cue, the fox reached behind his back and tossed a gold Frisbee through the air. Sonic snapped his palm around the power ring and let the golden energy flow through him. Amy stepped away in awe. 

"I'll get rid of your super-bots before they even activate!" he declared, and let himself curl for a spin-dash. 

Sonic leapt into the air and launched himself into a continuous homing attack, firing into the first robot and catapulting into the next. Whrrrrrr-EAW! EAW! EAW! WAW! WHAP! The hedgehog landed back on the floor in a cool resting pose and five explosions followed suite. 

Robotnik only kept laughing. "You _FOOL_! Take a look and see what your one-hit knock-out technique won you today!" 

Sonic's Team reassembled into a group and looked together. They gasped. "The mechas!" Tails yelped. 

"They're still alive!" Amy declared. 

"But how?" they asked as one. 

Robotnik laughed again. "My turn at expository dialogue: This book, Sonic, is a record of all the otherworldly beings who constructed this place. Every last name of every entity who ever lent a hand in the creation of this world! The directors; the animators; the writers; all here, sealed in ink! There is even the muse behind your vocal cords, mine as well! 

And now, I've added the voice actors of my new mechas to the list of credits! HA! It's impossible to destroy them, Sonic, because the E-100 series is now a part of _the regular cast_! They are just as essential as Decoe or myself, and so they cannot be defeated in one measly hit! They. Are. INVULNERABLE!" 

The mad scientist swept his arms open and let spotlights illuminate his body. "And now, ARISE my E-100 Series! AWAKEN, your Master commands it!" 

Five sets of green eyes pierced the rain. 

The heroes yelped. Sonic jumped to the front and spread his arms protectively before the others. The mechs moved into ready position, legs shoulder-width apart, grasping hands gripping their firearms across the chest. The leader stepped forward, charcoal black and distinguished by his bulky dual arm-cannons instead of a smaller blaster-hand. 

"And now, hedgehog, let me introduce my greatest creations… BETA! The pompous wiseass!" 

The black leader cocked his arm-cannons at Amy and gave a mock fire. "LADIES!" It crooned in an arrogant voice seemingly amplified by a megaphone. "Just call me Ee Wun _Oh Yeah_!" 

"GAMMA! The chivalric and compassionate killer!" 

The red one stepped forward. "Greetings," it spoke in a noble voice reserved for superheroes. "Kindly raise your hands and surrender, villains!" 

"DELTA! The brooding, gothic loner!" 

The blue bot dragged forward with a tone of ennui. "Death is inevitable," it wheezed in a stony voice. "The end comes for us all. I am merely the catalyst." 

"EPSILON! The trigger-happy cowboy!" 

The orange marched up. "Howdy partners," it declared in a thickly accented vox. "I reckon' ahm 'bout ready t'kick some kiester!" 

"And ZETA! The disgruntled one." 

The last mech stomped up with its arms crossed and pouted. "Oh sure! Leave ME for last! Who cares, it's not like _I_ have feelings!" 

Robotnik laughed again, and with Decoe and Little Black Thing flanking, he stepped around the podium to stand tall above his E-100s. "And now, my minions of malevolence, my soldiers of sin; destroy the blue hedgehog and his companions! CRUSH THEM!" 

Multiple safety locks went loose. "Okay boys!" Beta crooned. "Iiiiiit's partay time!" 

"The night shall bear no refuge, villains!" 

"Black Death comes for you on the carrion-wings of the vulture." 

"Lez whoop these tin-horns inta shape!" 

"Oh yay, I am like, _so_ enthusiastic if you haven't noticed." 

Sonic stood tall and held the line for his friends, but he could not help but utter a small "uoh!" as five monsters lunged from the podium, arms clawing the air, targeting scopes sweeping their bodies, blasters zapping the air. For an instant, everything was so intense that his eyes frosted over with mist, and the world froze in black and white, streaked with sharp lines of motion. And in the moment of pause, he thought to himself. 

_Oh man, we walked into a trap! Am I gonna be able to defeat these guys? I just don't know! But the answers are coming soon! Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of SONIC X! DON'T MEESIT!_

And then he woke, and wondered 'What the heck was that'? 

And then the battle began. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

NEXT TIME: Prepare yourself for the mother of all fight scenes as Team Good Guys faces down the unstoppable crew of Dr. Robotnik's elite E-100 series! 

Hang tight, dear readers! I'll be back before _someone_ from Netraptor's Message Board can say, "I am offended!" 

_--Tylec Asroc. _


	4. Boss: E101 through 5! Heartless Acquain...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

An explosion grew from the plaza floor, not all that different in appearance from the original Chaos Control that had brought the anthropomorphs to the human world. This blast was also displacing creatures through time and space: riding the shockwaves, wearing their most distraught faces and flailing their limbs were Stuart, Amy, Tails and Sonic the Hedgehog. 

Each one of them kissed the rough surface of floor tiles. Beta gave a hearty cackle in his naturally amplified voice. 

"Whoa Ho!" the E-series Ground Commander chortled. "I sunk your battleship!" 

Sonic and his friends were groaning and writhing on the ground as the elite robots regrouped for another attack. "What'll we play now?" Beta sneered. "How 'bout Connect Four?" Gamma was already tagging the quartet. They fired again. 

Sonic's eyes suddenly opened with such alertness that the focus of the world seemed to zoom in and concentrate on his serious optics. "NO!" he yelled, and jumped into a spin-dash, knocking his energy-infused body into each approaching laser bolt. Tails would have explained that this was Sonic's long-forgotten and seldom-useful Insta-Shield attack, but he didn't think Amy would appreciate his efforts. Each blast rammed into their friend and was merely absorbed by the energy field his rapid movement produced. The hedgehog landed on his feet, a little wobbly from all the attacks he had blocked. The lightless Power Ring in his palm crumbled. 

"Awww, Killjoy!" Beta whined. "Get 'im!" 

Sonic turned back to his friends as the ultimate mechs marched forward in delta wing formation. "Get out of here!" he ordered while shots whizzed through the air. "Go, I'll hold them off!" 

Amy gasped. "But Sonic!" 

"You can't stop them all by yourself!" Tails protested. 

The hedgehog attempted a cheeky grin, but it came off more grimly. "What do you think I do every week? Go! Get the X-Cyclone! Hurry!" 

He fired himself into the battle, and Amy didn't even have the chance to wish him luck. She quivered in terror and could not find the strength to move until Stuart's warm hands lifted her and pulled away. They ran perhaps five steps when a cry of pain stopped their feet and turned their heads. Sonic was lying on the ground, ready to be squished as the five mechas stomped forward unceasingly. 

"Sonic, get up!" Amy screeched. The hedgehog's ear twitched, he groaned and then catapulted himself into the action. 

Sparks flew from Beta like water from a sprinkler as the hedgehog repeatedly bounced and rebounded off the machine like a blue hacky sack. But the black jerk wasn't showing any signs of damage; rather, Beta seemed to be amused, as if tickled. 

"Ladies aaaand Gentlemen!" Beta crowed like an obnoxious auctioneer. "Our first item on sale is this fine blue rotary blade! It slices, it dices," he backhanded the hedgehog with an arm cannon. 

"It sucks big time!" Beta sneered, and continued to walk forward, blasting his prey as he jabbered. "Second on our list is this handsome gunner mech who looks absolutely _stylish_ in black! Comes complete with a full round of live ammunition! Going once!" He shot Sonic. "Twice!" Now with the other hand. "Three times!" Both arms. 

"Sold!" E-101 declared, suddenly swiveling his chassis to catch Amy in his crosshairs. "To the pink cutie in the first row." A mouth would have been grinning wickedly. "Hey bright eyes; wanna be my Beta Tester?" 

Then Sonic jumped up and tackled the black ego. They spilled on the ground, hedgehog beating his fists on Beta's frame until the mech coiled up his frog legs and kicked his attacker away. While still in mid-air, Epsilon got off a sniper shot. 

"Whoo-wee! Lez whoop this varmint, partner!" 

Sonic was just getting to his feet when he heard the sound of two roaring formula-one racers. Gamma and Delta, folded into wheel-mode rammed the hedgehog off balance. As he staggered, a mechanical hand grabbed his spines and plucked him into the air. 

"Oh sure, now I get to be part of the action," the hovering Zeta grumbled as he ascended. Sonic dangled from his grasping hand. "_Stay back Zeta, you give us cover fire. Cover us Zeta, your air-patrol_. Losers. … You know what I think? I think they wanna get rid of me! Geez, life sucks!" 

Sonic's teeth were ready to bite through each other as he grimaced over the pain in his hair. "You have no idea," he sneered back. 

"There, there! Y'see! Everybody's criticizing me!" 

Tails and Amy watched from the sidelines as E-105 dragged Sonic higher into the air. The other four mechs were taking potshots at their partner, trying to knock their quarry out of his grasp. Amy suddenly felt she could watch no more. "We have to do something!" she gasped, pulling out her hammer. "Tails, air-lift me, I'll…." She stopped when a cold hand touched her shoulder. 

Who dared stop her? Amy snapped around, fully intending to unleash her rage verbally. But when she spun and saw Stuart's stern face, her brain crashed and her brilliant plan fumbled. All she could manage was to appear decidedly puzzled and utter a small "Uoh?". 

The teacher glared with such disapproving countenance that Amy became chilled and had to shiver out another "Uohh," as she stared in awe. "Hmm," the grim and focused Stuart grumbled, then returned his all-knowing glare to the battle. The lowly hedgehog turned her head downward, feeling dejected, and let out a sad "Ohh". 

Tails continued to stare, his shiny eyes flickering like candle flame. He just watched, oblivious to the strength he possessed, clueless to the power rings in his mitts, forgotten of his order to fetch the X-Cyclone for backup. But out in the corner of his eye, he did notice two onlookers joining their staring. One was a short, bald monk in orange pajamas and missing a nose; the other was a messy haired kid in blue with a tail. Both of them followed Amy's cues and stood like distressed statues, letting out periodic '_uoh … u, u, uoh'_s as they watched Sonic have the snot kicked out of him. 

Zeta dropped Sonic and suddenly the fight powered up. Sonic landed on the ground, only to be met with overhead hail fire from 105. He ducked and weaved through the shots but Gamma and Delta only returned in wheelie-mode, knocking him senseless into the arm cannons of Beta and the fist of Epsilon. He was not just fighting five mechas, but one team, working together to restrict his speed and to force him into their partners' gun sights. 

"Uoh!" Amy, Stuart and Tails all gasped together as Sonic suffered a powerful punch in the jaw. Their bodies were tense and their eyes warbled like glassy orbs. The hit sent Sonic skidding against the floor until he was only inches from their toes. The hedgehog shuddered and panted heavily. They all looked down and gave an extra-special dramatic gasp at his broken state. 

Actually, Sonic seemed to be in the perfect bill of health. Sure, there were a few black lines drawn across his body, but it appeared as if he had not been hurt one bit: no bleeding, no black eyes, no bruised or broken limbs. In short, he was just a little dirty. 

Sonic moaned. Tails was trembling as he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, as if he were trying to hold in a really bad fart. "Get … get up, Sonic," he ordered. 

Sonic groaned again and lifted a hand. 

"You … you must get up!" Tails insisted. Sonic's hand seemed to be reaching for the fox, as if asking for something. 

"Sonic! You … you have to keep fighting!" The hedgehog was flapping his palm at the fox, snapping it open-shut just inches from the vulpine's own hand. 

A rhythmic clomping and Beta stole the scene. "Hey, slacker! Who said you could have a break?" The black war machine stepped daintily in between Sonic and his friends and bent over excessively, exposing his vulnerable backside as he scooped up the hedgehog. Beta fumbled for a bit, trying to grab the hedgehog with digits comprised solely of laser cannons. He shuffled and grumbled, wiggling his defenseless rear in the others' faces as they watched and gasped. Finally, 101 managed to scoop up Sonic round the waist and carried him off, not giving a shred of acknowledgement to the three remaining mammals. A gloved hand strained around Beta's side, clawing the air and trying to reach at Tails. The fox just gasped in horror as his friend was dragged away. 

Amy took a courageous step forward, but Stuart only clasped her shoulder again, giving a negative "mhm-mm". 

"But … Sonic!" Amy protested with eyes that shook like jello. 

Stuart shook his head. "There was nothing we could do." 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Dr. Robotnik was having the time of his life as his E-100 series demolished Sonic's body. "That's it! Yes, crush him, my creations! Destroy that hedgehog!" 

"Give him the chair!" Little Black Thing hollered. 

From across the plaza, the fox boy was shouting as well. "Hang in there, Sonic! You can do it! We're all rooting for you!" 

And Robotnik only laughed harder as Epsilon took his elbow and delivered a pile-drive into Sonic's gut. 

"You shouldn't get so overconfident, Mr. Robotnik!" a voice from behind declared. Shocked, the cruel creator of cataclysmic contraptions turned around and found a boy in blue leather. His lightning-spike hair of red, black and blonde gave a false air of toughness to the short pushover. 

The boy went on, pyramid medallion shaking on his chest as he pointed an accusing finger. "You'd be surprised what the power of the heart is capable of! You think yourself superior because you control such weapons of destruction?" 

"Yes," Robotnik replied blankly to the rather evident question. 

"Well you may have all-powerful weapons, but Sonic has the one thing you'll never have: friendship! With his friends cheering him, encouraging him to endure, you'll never defeat Sonic! Such is the power of the Heart of the Cards!" 

Robotnik took it all in, until his black glasses were shimmering in amazement. He looked over the human boy – who had appeared out of nowhere for no good reason – so strong and sure of himself despite his size. He looked back at his five war machines, forming a ring around Sonic and taking turns kicking the fallen hedgehog. He looked further to the edge of the plaza, where the pink brat and the fox were cheering their lungs out. He looked back at Sonic, probably unconscious now and rolling limply with every violent nudge. 

"D-Decoe," Dr. Robotnik whispered, feeling a lump of pity grow in his throat. 

The golden assistant approached cautiously, unsure as to what change of heart had come over his Master. "Sir?" 

"Give the little urchin some money for a haircut and see him off." 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

"Oof!" Sonic grunted as he slid across the floor for the umpteenth time. He pressed his knees on the floor and tried to rise… 

"Whoa!" Beta cackled. "Looks like we've got a glutton for punishment, boys!" His jovial voice went dark and derisive. "Well tuck in yer bib, kiddo, cause t'night's All-You-Can-Eat!" 

Sonic spotted something just before his face: a black marble. That Tiny Dark Entity must have thrown some duds… He strained his hand forward and grasped this one final chance. 

The hedgehog rolled onto his feet and stood with great effort. "You guys like Chinese food?" he asked while inching towards his friends. "Cause I got a fortune cookie for ya: Your future will considerable _brighten_!" 

He threw the tiny bomb. FLASH! The plaza burned in a final, blinding flare that made the mechas cry out and cover their optics. Beta was livid! 

"HEY! I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO MAKES BAD PUNS AROUND HERE!" 

"What in 'tar-nation! Ah can't see uh thang!" 

"Wretched dawn! Concealing all from the misty embrace of black night!" That was Delta. 

"All right!" Beta declared once the flash disappeared. "I'm kickin' it up a notch! Where's that blue boy?" 

Beta stopped and considered that his question might not be rhetorical any more. "Uhh… hey, where _did_ he go?" The charred plaza was empty and rain trickled down their wet hulls in the bothersome silence. 

Dr. Robotnik was just recovering from his own temporary blindness. "Blast that hedgehog!" he cursed while rubbing his eyes. "What's our status?" 

The E-100s looked at one another, their aimless stares slowly focusing on Beta. The Ground Commander made a double take at this insurrection, but conceded after a bout of grumbling. 

"Ingrates…" the black scapegoat muttered as he walked toward the soundstage. "Uh, hey there, Boss-Man! Umm… okay, funny story here; d'ya like funny stories? Y'see, we were all gangin' up on the hog and, … uh, well…" 

"Idiot!" growled The Doctor. "Sonic's gone! Why aren't you chasing him?" 

"Umm, uh… gazing in rapture at our most merciful creator?" 

"FOOL! Get going! We haven't got time to waste!" 

"Umm, umm, umm, YEAH! That's _exactly_ what I was telling the Goof Troop back there," Beta declared, switching angles. "But nooo, they didn't think we should leave yet…" 

"MOVE LIKE YOU'VE GOT A FUNCTION, BOLT-HEAD!" 

Beta gave a hasty salute. "Yessir, 10-4, roger that, movin' out! Long live the Eggma… Robotnik Empire!" He jogged away, assuming his cocky command position. 

"C'mon you transformer rejects! You heard Dr. Demento: git movin!" 

Only Zeta refused the order. He stood in a pose of disgust with his foot shaking in the air. "Eww, I stepped on something gross," 105 whined. "Why is it always me?" 

"What is your hindrance?" Gamma inquired. His brother pointed to the gray goop he had squashed. Epsilon came over as well and he gave a frightful little jump at the sight. 

"Uh, Mr. Decoe, sir," the western stereotype piped up, "Ah reckon we found Mr. Bocoe's head." 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

NEXT TIME: Let the hunt begin. 

Hang tight, dear readers! I'll be back before Cheese can say "Chao!" … Oh gosh, that doesn't leave me much time, does it? 

_--Tylec Asroc._


	5. Hunt Mission! Destroy the ESeries!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Stuart had lost all sign of the others. When the big flash came up, he only heard Sonic's order to "RUN FOR IT!" and he took that as the cue to move. They were no doubt scattered around the mall. As for himself, he had bee-lined for the main exits, only to run into two very curious E-12 Sentinels who seemed very eager to grab the little toy man and see how long he would stay in one piece. The teacher had made a hasty retreat back inside. Trapped. The terrorist had obviously blockaded all the conventional exits. 

The lanky man felt his courage melting; he could hear the five super-machines stomping down the corridors, coming after him. It was a hunt now, and he was the rat stuck in the maze. 

"Well, since I've lost the three Mouseketeers," he told himself, still light-years from the wit of Sonic or Beta, "I'll have to call in a few good friends." He raised his wristwatch to his mouth and pressed a button. 

"Little Bear to Mama Bear: come in Mama Bear!" He stopped to keep his echoing footsteps from garbling the transmission. 

"Send in the Beetle Tanks!" 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

"What's the point," Zeta huffed as the squad jogged out of the plaza. "We don't even know where they went!" 

Beta swivelled his yellow-capped head at his troops. "Then we go _find them_, cry baby!" he sneered while running. "If it's the last thing I do, I'll get those darn jerks!" 

Only Dr. Robotnik would have created mechas with the ability to gasp. "Sir!" Gamma protested. "This a G-Rated program! Forgive my breach of command, but please watch your language!" 

"Shut up, Gamma you _loser!_" Beta jeered, causing the red soldier to cover his virgin audio sensors. He stopped the march at a fork in the multi-level hallways. "It's really simple: we split up! Tex – take Sad-Sack and go thataway!" 

"Ah gat it boss! We'll get them varmints!" Epsilon and Zeta jogged down one hallway. 

"G-man, you come with me and we'll cover the second floor!" 

"Understood commander." 

Beta paused and hummed theatrically. "Now, lemmie see, is anyone left? Oh!" He clasped his arm cannons to his cheeks, feigning surprise. "Delta! Oh no, that means you'll have to go alone! Gee, I'm sorry, loner; I had no idea! It was _never_ my intention to leave you by yourself, loner. Are you okay 'bout that, loner?" 

The blue thespian just reloaded his firearm and whispered in sinister tones. "My ears hearken to the buzzing of insects, but the white noise cannot bleed a heart already so charred to black." 

Gamma's militant posture slouched as his brother spoke these words, and his core temperature dropped considerably. He watched Delta stomp down a dark corridor, cradling his gun arm and fading into the shadows. Some strange sensation was creeping through 102's armour, a chilling spidery click of frost. 

His sibling merged into the darkness, a lost soul dead to emotion, that grim phantasm marching wearily to a destiny of solitude. Gamma – the chill crept up once more – he … he _felt_ for Delta … he felt that things should not be so… 

"LOOONNER!" Beta called, interrupting his thoughts. "NOO-BODY LIKES YOU! NOO-BODY LIKES YOU!" 

There was a crash of glass and the din of hoverjets. "Coming from the plaza," Gamma noted with a hint of worry. 

A transmission crackled over the communication lines. Master was panting heavily. "Beta, change of plans: get back here immediately!" 

Gamma was already jogging for the plaza. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

With vertical thrusters sweeping rain across the floor, G.U.N.'s Beetle Tank was an impressive sight. The bronze, shovel-horned artillery had descended through the shattered skylights and was now converting to land-mode for easier mobility. It sunk to the ground with a heavy lurch and began the counter-strike. 

A scan of the plaza and the tank's operator picked up several robotics and one human. Identification was confirmed: it was the Eggman. The stag beetle rotated and its trident horn lowered; the primary cannon was exposed. Far off in a mobile command-centre, the pilot targeted the bloated terrorist and smiled as the crosshairs went red. 

He fired. 

The visual feed jostled and a streak of hot laser made a clean miss, burning a hole through the soundstage and not the doctor. 

"Wha' the?" 

Back in the plaza, Gamma aimed another laser bolt at the aft of the giant tank, shaking its bronze frame. The gunner mech clutched his firing arm and made a steady march for the enemy. 

"Fear not, my Lord!" he called to the rattled soundstage. "I will save you!" 

The tank had picked up the enemy and was already rotating to meet the challenge. Gamma spared no efficiency, and fired away at the hull and minor sensor arrays while the tank levelled its cannon for another shot. He had to keep it distracted from the stage. 

"Ha HA!" his master crowed from the stage. "Destroy it, Gamma; blow it to pieces!" 

Once more, the Beetle Tank lowered its horn, and Gamma had to step away to avoid the collapsing drawbridge. He identified the exposed cannon lens, assessed the vulnerability it presented, and lowered his scope to target the weak-spot. 

White laser lanced from the tank and hit E-102 dead center in the chassis. Gamma flew through the air and skidded across the floor, smoking. 

The Little Black Thing gave a gasp. "WHOA!" Decoe fretted and covered his optics. "Oh my!" the squeamish assistant yelped while turning away from the twitching, sparking corpse. Robotnik screamed like a child whose meticulously constructed, five-story Lego castle had been toppled. 

"GAMMA!" 

Beta plodded into the arena rather casually and did a double take at the cadaver. "Oooh," he winced. "I'm late, aren't I?" 

"One down," grinned the G.U.N. robotics-operator. He moved to target the black bogey. 

His co-pilot gave a cry and pointed to the visual monitor. "Holy Heck! It's getting' back up!" 

E-102 Gamma swivelled into a sitting position and a push got him onto his feet. Besides the black dirt over his armour, he was in the perfect state of health. The beetle was puttering away, its idle frame mirroring the stunned countenance of its faraway pilots. He lowered his targeting scope and swept over the unguarded cannon. 

"Impostor! Know that there is only one Master of Mechanoids! The Almighty Dr. Robotnik, Greatest Mind known to your world!" 

"Suck-up," Beta muttered. 

"And you, you debauchery of His creations, you evil impostor … your time has come." 

Gamma fired and shattered the lens. The hull of the Beetle Tank shook. Panels popped open and electricity crackled free. The enormous insect lurched forward in a last stand – it would run them down as its final act – but pops and snaps and twangs flew from its treads until it could move only to shake and rattle and smoke. The enormous insect gave a low whine and shuddered to a halt. 

Gamma let the smoke waft from his gun as he stood over his kill with solemn alert. Beta's motors buzzed as he looked from the kill to the killer. 

"THAT'S IT????" he blurted with indignation. "No white light bursting out, no fiery explosions, no disintegrating under a bubble of energy!!!??? I want my money back!!!!" 

"The evildoer has been vanquished," Gamma returned. 

Beta flailed his cannons and protested in fits. "B-dj … B… Ife…. _What is wrong with you man_??? You just can't go around shooting guns, blasting away and destroying robots without an explosion! … You … you just don't! Whose gonna clean up the carcass now? Huh? Huh? Cause if you think you can just leave this for me to delegate to Zeta, then you're sadly mistaken. You're sadly mistaken." 

A whisper picked up by their audio sensors made the mechs stop. "I don't believe it," hissed the high voice. "He destroyed the tank with one shot. Wow." 

Beta was first to triangulate the source; his head swivelled up to the second-story balcony and his optics zoomed in. "HEY, HEY HEY!" The hedgehog girl yelped and looked right at him. 

"Ah, my adoring fan-girl. Can't resist seeing me in action, takin' out the military's finest." 

"Commander, didn't I …" 

"Shaddup Gamma!" Back to Amy. "How's it goin', Pixel-pie?" Beta crooned. "Like the show? I betcha want an autograph, don't' ya, Cutesy Buttons?" 

The girl bolted. 

"WHAT? HEY, WAIT! No, no … uh… I LIKE TO CUDDLE AND TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS! … Hello?" 

"She is gone," Gamma observed. 

His commander was right in his face. "Well thank you, Mr. Ee-Wun Oh-That's Obvious!!!" Beta turned away to scan Amy's line of flight. 

"Well, it doesn't matter. She aught a know she can't escape my love. BETA: AFTERBURN!" 

The black mech transformed into helicopter-mode and flared up to the second story, leaving Gamma to pick up the rear. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

From the shaky soundstage, Robotnik cheered on their pursuit! "Ha! Did you see that?" He pointed at the ruined tank. "Sonic can't stop them; not even the mighty G.U.N. can defeat my E-100 series! Nothing can destroy a regular cast member!" 

"…Yeah," the Dark Jetpack Maniac agreed absentmindedly. While he zoomed around the wobbly-stage-lights, a thought popped up. He jetted down to the corner where Decoe was fiddling with Bocoe's parts and landed on a black amp to consult. "Hey, you heard all that stuff about bein' invincible, right?" 

"Correct," Decoe commented without looking away from his work. The ebony-plated-envoy grinned, knowing he was never stuck in such menial labour. To rub in his casual life, he stretched and leaned back against a dome atop the amp. 

"So, does that mean that if somethin' super-super bad happens to me, then I'll be totally okay?" 

"Right about now," said a peeved voice from behind the little black thing, "I'd really like to test that theory out." The messenger puzzled and looked around, one hand over his eyes, the other resting on the dome. There was an indignant _a-hem_, which attracted his gaze downwards. 

"GLAH!" Two very annoyed eyes. On a gray face. Underneath the messenger's hand. Bocoe's head continued to glare. LBT freaked, as though he had touched a corpse, and stepped away. 

"Oh, don't go away." The metal head hopped forward. "I don't mind being used as a _lawn chair_. Please, go right ahead and SIT ON MY FACE!" 

The messanjah-robo kept backing away, his eyes warbling. Bocoe kept bouncing forward on his neck. "C'mon, go ahead, do it again! I _like_ being abused!" LBT gave a courageous snivel and wrung his hands. 

"Whazamater? You gonna cry? Huh? Huh? Gonna cry, cry-baby?" 

The floodgates burst. "M-WHAAAAAAAAAAA-HAA-HUU!!!!!!!" 

Decoe tried decreasing the volume on his audio, but he just couldn't tune out the two idiots. He growled – as if his work wasn't aggravating enough! Once again, he tried mashing Bocoe's wrist and hand together, but they just wouldn't fit! He clanged them together: clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk – willing them to connect, but still nothing. Decoe gave a sigh and reached for the stapler. Again. 

Bocoe's head was growing increasingly nasty. "Cry-baby," he sneered. "That's what I thought: yer just a wimpy ol …" he stopped. "Uh … kid, maybe you wanna stop crying now…" The amp was becoming increasingly wet. 

"Err, uhh … My uh – my wiring's _exposed_. I can't get wet! Kid? _Kid_? ……… Decoe, you wanna help here? Decoe? Decoe? DEC-AGHHHHH!!!!!!!" 

_There_. Decoe wiped the oil off his brow and stepped back to admire his work. A perfect reconstruction – You couldn't even see the crazy glue, and the duct tape blended perfectly. It wasn't just good – it was good enough! Now all that remained was to re-attach Bocoe's head. 

So Decoe turned around to do so and saw the sobbing little black thing and the charred cranium sitting in an ooze of electrified tears. 

Decoe gave a very tired look back at the headless henchman he had so painstakingly restored. His processors could not find a suitable G-rated swear, so he settled for giving his creation an angry kick. It collapsed instantly. He crossed his arms, plopped down and sulked. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Deep in the shadows of the mall, Sonic the Hedgehog collapsed. He couldn't continue. The fight had drained him of all his energy – he was a dizzy, disoriented target for whichever mech found him first. 

Still, he tried; he dragged his body across the ground. Maybe he could distract the troops while the others escaped. Maybe … maybe. 

He couldn't move anymore. He wanted to – wanted to will his body forward, but he could not. His crawling had taken him directly into the waiting feet of a looming shadow. 

The hedgehog reached his neck back, wondering which robot would have the luck of terminating him, but the motion was too much. Sonic dropped to the floor and fainted. 

The shadow did not move, only looked at the fallen animal. A hand reached down … 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Stuart was in a fit of panic. HQ had lost transmissions from the tanks; he had lost his way in the myriad pathways and there were two mechas stomping dangerously close. He ducked underneath a bench and prayed the darkness was enough to hid him. 

Voices now approached. "Ah betcha there's wun of them nasty critters daywn here. Whoo-wee, we're gonna get that varmint!" 

"Hurray," muttered a deflated voice. "I'm tiii-red. Can't we just go recharge? We're never gonna find them." 

"There wus footsteps up here, ah heard 'em. They can't hide frum us!" 

Stuart held his breath. 

"This sucks!" came the second voice. 

The heavy footsteps stopped. "Partner, ah gatta ask, wuts with yew and all this belly-achin an' mopin? What'cha gat tu be upset about?" 

An outraged squeal of gears. "Oh yeah right; like you can't tell!" 

"Whoa, wun questiun an' already yer blowin' lake an ol' Texas oil-pipe! Ahm just askin'." 

"Look at me. Don't you see _something_ wrong with me?" 

"Err, ain't we identical?" 

"I'M _PINK_!" 

The cowboy mecha let out a knowing _ahhh_. "Uhh… well … pink's a nice culur," he suggested. 

"Yeah, if you like frilly dresses and ribbons and wanna play _tea-party_ with your dollies!" 

"Uh, yeah." Stuart could hear some awkward shuffling. "Well… yer nat _exactly_ pink … naw, yer – yer more uf … a really, really light purple." 

"_PURPLE_? Like that big, dancing monster on kids TV? Is that what I look like to you?" 

"Well, err, ahh…" 

"You're _not_ helping." 

"Uhh, burgundy?" 

"What kind of colour is _burgundy_?" 

"Well, it's kand-uf a reddish-purpl… aww shoot." 

Stuart could hardly contain his sniggering. He slapped a palm over his mouth. 

"Just … just go away." 

"Aww, c'mon, ah didn't mean it ……… Wait. Wait. What wus that?" 

"What was what?" 

"Ah heard _somethin'_." 

Stuart's desire to laugh drained down his chest, leaving a cold pit in his stomach. 

"One of the mammals?" 

Epsilon motioned for silence. "There! Ah just gat another spike on mah Dramatic Tension Meter." He looked around menacingly. "… Someone's here…" 

His pursuers moved in slow, clomping footsteps, testing the area for signs of heightened fear and anxiety. Stuart went pale. 

"There! It just kicked up again. We're hot, partner – this snake's close." 

Flood lamps ignited. Stuart could feel the heat from the yellow lights sweep across the floor, searching for him. He shivered and curled his body tight. The cowboy chuckled. "Ahm gettin' warmer." 

Stuart tensed his body and he pressed himself into the ground, as though he could melt into the cracks. But they did not leave. Four green eyes moved cautiously through the dark. Their headlamps swung across the air like laser scopes, and the eyes followed the light that exposed everything. They were closer. 

"This baby's firin' up in red levels," declared the one with an orange tinge. "Ooh, not long naw." 

The spy couldn't understand – he tried to be as quiet as a mouse and as attentive as a hawk, but every nervous motion he made, every shiver or tremble or pant or quiver that ran through his body seemed to draw the mechas closer. And the closer they came, the more he shook and sweat and panicked and that drew them even nearer! 

A foot fell before the bench, inches from the hiding Stuart. He shoved his fist in his mouth, to keep from screaming. It needed only twist a little and it would brush his shoulder. 

The foot lifted. It walked away. 

Stuart released his hand and allowed himself a sigh. 

"It's dippin'… but it was strong over … _There_." 

His pupils shrunk into inky dots. A light. A light was shining on his eye. On his face. Exposing him. They could see. They could see. They could see him!!! 

Not yet. The robot was sweeping its head around, inspecting the walls. But soon it would come and rest its green glare on him. He had to get away. He had to get away. The spy rolled on his back. He began slithering out. 

His jacket went taut. It was caught! Caught on a bolt in the floor! He was pinned! Stuart glanced to the robot. Ninety-degrees and it would find him, naked in the light. He reached his hand; he started pulling. Had to get free, had to get free. 

Forty-five degrees. It was stuck, and he was too awkwardly trapped to get his hands to the spot! Twenty degrees, and all the time the mech was muttering. 

"It's almost off the scale … yeah, I've gat 'im. I've gat 'im." Its gun charged up in preparation; the barrel was already pointing at the bench. All it would have to do was fire. 

Stuart was sweating, for all the help it did. He was trapped, pinned and he wanted to cry out, he was so claustrophobic. Still, he couldn't reach. Couldn't get free. 

Fifteen degrees. Ten. Five. Three. 

A black shadow intercepted the light. "I'm booored." 

The orange mech screamed as though he'd sat on a pitchfork. "GAHH!! Yew cotton-pickin' varmint! Yew mutton-headed pinko!!" 

The other mech moaned like a child on a hot and boring car ride. "Whaaaaaat?" 

"Idjit! YEW JUS' KILLED THE TENSION! Mah meter reset! How'ma supposed tu fand that mammal naw?" 

"Stop yellllling. Everybody's yelling at me. C'mon, there's no one here and I'm tiiiired." 

While the other mech muttered some choice words, Stuart tore his jacket free and crawled across the hallway until he was hiding behind one of the pillars supporting the second floor. "All right, all right; we'll go. Git a move on, Mr. Pink!" 

"I thought I was burgundy," Zeta moped. 

"What kand uf culur is _burgundy_? MOVE, before ah string yew up by yer sissy little pink gizzard!" His partner just moaned pathetically. "Ahhwwwwww…." 

With his back against the post, Stuart listened to the disgruntled mech and his new convert stomp off, faster and louder than ever. He finally peeked around his hiding spot. Not a soul. Stuart dropped his head back and gave the world's greatest and most relieved sigh. 

"Phew." 

A metal claw grabbed him by the shirt. "WHAAAA!!" 

E-103 Delta lifted his quarry into the air and slammed it against the post. "The angel of death is upon you, Stuart." 

The teacher felt the wind rush past and then a tremendous CRASH as his body slammed into the bench. He moaned among the shattered wood. 

His eyes went wide. A gun barrel was in his face. 

There was more: maniacal laughing. Delta's headlamp swirled with green mist and demonstrated its holographic capabilities by projecting Dr. Robotnik's looming face above the fallen teacher. 

Stuart paled. "Please, let me go!" he begged. "I'm just a school teacher; I'm innocent!" The grovelling only made the doctor explode with deep laughter. Delta stood militant, his gun arm wavering not the least. 

"A teacher, eh?" Robotnik sneered. "Quite a complicated wrist-watch you have for a public school salary, isn't it? Oh, it's no use hiding the gadget; I've seen enough, yess. Now I know who you are: you're that government spy, Stuart the Human!" 

Stuart froze. Caught. But one look in that gun barrel told him he had to buy time. "I see you've done your homework," he said shakily. He stuttered on. "I could call that an invasion of privacy." 

The terrorist laughed all the more. "I could say the same thing about you!" 

Had to barter; had to keep bargaining. "Well," he conceded, "I had done my job, so I thought it was time to collect what's mine and leave." He protectively covered his watch and the microfilm of Sonic's battle. 

Robotnik snorted. Holographic spit flew from the display. "You are one _pathetic_ creature!" 

Stuart was growing bold with time. His hand was inching towards a beam with twisted nails… "And what about you?" he countered. With his watch hand he pulled some news clipping from his breast pocket. The doctor frowned as the papers were raised for inspection. 

"These are the results for a global science award presented to _The World's Greatest Scientific Genius_," Stuart declared. He would show this egomaniac just how low he was! 

"But if the man here is the planet's top brain…" Grandpa Chuck's face was plastered on the newspaper, "Then who … or _what_ is being projected in front of me?" 

The bald face scowled even more. "Delta, finish _it_." The hologram winked out. 

Only one chance. Stuart gripped his wooden club and lashed out! Delta took the slap on the wrist without a wink. "My soul is far too numb for pain." The mecha's grasping hand grabbed the stick and snapped it in two. 

Stuart's body seized up, as if it were his body being broken in half. He had to move, he had to back away; he had to run! But the gun in his face could be used to destroy _and_ to sedate: one look in that long, black barrel, and Stuart could not move. His eyes widened. 

The mecha leaned over its torso, perhaps for better accuracy, perhaps because this was its one pleasure. The unflinching green eyes stared him down, and, though they had no muscles to move with, in the shadows that played upon the machine's face, Stuart saw a malicious grin. 

A meek little gurgle escaped Stuart's lips as the laser-arm was prodded closer into his face. One kill-command, and his nose would be shaved clean off. His eyes trembled. 

Delta crouched over its prey, and leaned its gun in closer. From the skylights above, clear moonlight hit his optics and the reflection gave him a look of malice, of spite and of _delight_. This would be enjoyed. He leaned in and his sadistic scowl grew. 

Stuart gasped; the gun was so very dangerously close! He couldn't get away; there was nowhere to run! And all the while, the mecha stared at him – gleefully, judging by the light on its soulless face. His pupils shrank back. 

Delta inched forward, hunching over his quarry like Death himself. The shadows stretched and his malicious countenance grew. 

Stuart whimpered and his eyelids opened wide with horror. 

Delta leaned forward and his evil delight grew. 

Stuart shivered and his eyes popped open. 

Delta crouched lower. 

Stuart's eyes stretched wider. 

Delta's arm pushed closer 

Stuart's eyes bugged out further. 

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!???" Stuart blurted, once more, echoing a response that was more than his own. 

The blue mecha straightened up, and pondered. His posture took a frown. "I can not destroy you yet, creature of flesh. The moment is not yet perfect… I must await …" 

The answer took some time, during which the artistic robot waved his hands about – as though the idea could be pulled out of the breeze conjured by his arms. "I must await …… _Something_…" 

Then there was a great, teeth-gnashing squeal. The sound was so horrible that Stuart flinched, though Delta showed no notice. The outside disturbance was enough to make a slight break in Stuart's paralysis – just enough for him to tilt his neck, look behind his captor and see what was the commotion. 

The second-story balcony – there was the origin! A huge, spherical shadow was being pushed to the guard railing, and now it was being hoisted over the fencing and it was scraping off a sound worse than nails on a chalkboard! The enormous object cast its eclipse over Stuart and the robot. The spy gave a meek whimper. Delta finally noticed the disturbance, and rotated his head to stare with hypnotic attention. 

As the shadow began to emit a whistle of growing volume and decreasing tone, Stuart meekly crab-walked out of range. Delta just looked up in a state of nihilistic resignation at his Something, and gave a deep sigh, slight disappointment. 

"Ah, comes the dawn…" 

And then the boulder fell and crushed him. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Sonic felt cool moisture on his forehead. He felt it contain the throbbing of his headache, which was very nice. He also felt another strange sensation – a wet, tickling touch on his face that made him want to giggle. He could feel the flicker of a tongue across his cheeks. Who was this mysterious source of pleasure, he wondered. With a content smile on his face he opened his eyes very lazily. "Hey girl, what's your na…" 

Sonic took in his playmate and his eyes popped open with a distinct '_boing_'. 

Cheese looked down at Sonic, smiled, and gave the hedgehog's nose another lick. 

"Chao?" 

**"GAHHH!!! GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF!!!!!!!"**

"Mr. Sonic-san, you're awake! … Here boy, c'mon Cheese!" The chao gave a loyal coo and scampered off to the heels of his mistress. Sonic bolted to a sitting position and worked furiously to peel away his topmost layer of skin. _Ewwww…_

"Cream?" the hedgehog exclaimed. The rabbit was coming towards him, dragging Sensei Stuart's disoriented body over her shoulder. "What'ya doing here, Cream? I thought Ella put you to bed!" 

Cottontail gave a final tug and had to concede to gravity. She dumped the teacher on the floor and hopped over to check on Sonic. "Are you okay, Mr. Sonic-san?" she asked, checking the moist towel on his forehead. "You looked really, really hurt when I found yah." 

Sonic sidestepped the question. "Cream! I don't know how you followed me here, but you've gotta get out! Eggman just sent out five super mechas and they're gonna destroy you if they catch you!" 

"Nuh-uh!" Cream protested. "There's only four!" Sonic gave her a funny look, so Cream explained by taking his hand and bringing the hedgehog to the guardrail. Down below was a near-spherical boulder, taller than three furries standing on each other's shoulders. The arms and legs of E-103 Delta lay spread-eagle from under the corners of the massive rock. Sonic looked to the rabbit. "Did you do all that?" 

"Yup-er-oonie" Cream confirmed, delighted at her recognition. 

Sonic blinked and shook his head. All the sudden nonsense made that throbbing return to his temple – this wasn't right. Clutching his forehead, he hissed, "_How_ did you drag a humongous, twelve-foot tall boulder onto the second floor of a shopping mall?" 

"Oh," she was obviously very proud of herself. "I asked Cheese to do it." 

"... and Cheese carried a rock three million times his body weight?" 

"All by himself!" Cream declared. 

Sonic felt his face aging again. "And did Cheese help you get inside too?" 

"Yup, yup, yup!" she beamed. "There were these big scary robots outside and they wudn't let us in, so I told Cheese ta get 'um and he did!" 

"What did he do?" 

"He smashed them!" She was bouncing on her feet by this point. 

"...... a chao ... smashed an E-12? All on his own???" 

"Well..." Cream hesitated, "I sorta did help him a little. I kinda threw him at them really, really hard." 

"You threw your..." 

"He likes it!" Cream protested. "He dusnt' mind, do ya, huh boy?" 

"Chao!" the little blue globule scooted to his feet and demonstrated his enthusiasm by charging Sonic's leg and repeatedly knocking his head into the hedgehog's shin. A hollow thunk, thunk, thunk resounded. 

Sonic gave a very disturbed look at the chao, then at its owner. "... Cream, when Cheese was just a little baby chao, did you ever drop him?" 

"Once," she confessed innocently. "One time Cheese swallowed a toy an' I wus shaking him so it'ud come out and then ... Cheese had an' Oopsie." 

"… I see..." 

Stuart was coming to his senses once more. "Oh… what's going on?" 

Cream answered swiftly. "There's wun, too, three, four – four more – super robots in'tha mall, an we gatta stop them all!" 

Sonic gave her a sweet smile. "That's some good counting there, Creamy, but uh… I think we need to find you and Stu a hiding spot before _I_ go try and stop these super soldiers." 

"How did she get here?" Stuart asked. 

"My frien's told me you guys were gonna be in trouble!" Cream explained. "They told me you were gonna go to the mall, so I took Cheese an' we came ta help!" 

"Friends?" Stuart puzzled. 

"_Friends_," Sonic answered back with quotation fingers. He leaned towards the human and whispered, "She's got invisible gnomes living in the walls." 

Cream pouted. "They are not invisdible, Mr. Sonic-san! You just can' see 'um! I found 'um one day: I wen' inta a new room in Chriseses house, an I started watchin' TV, but really, I was watchin' my friends!" 

"I remember," Sonic nodded politely. To Stuart, "I caught her talking to a window that day. She thought there was someone outside _watching her_." 

"They're watchin' you too, Mr. Sonic-san!" Cream protested. "An they are too real; I talk tuh them an' they talk tuh me, an they talk tuh you too!" The rabbit glanced to the skylights; Sonic followed her gaze – just rain clouds, but he thought there might have been a silvery flash, like the reflection of light off some giant screen suspended in the sky… 

_God, I hate these explanation parts, an invisible voice groaned, they take so long and everyone's so stupid!_

Sonic flinched. He looked around, and so did Stuart. 

Cream went on. "They told me where ta find you, an' where ta find the rock! They wanna help, Mr. Sonic-san, an I wanna help you too!" 

"Chao, chao!" 

Sonic gave a heavy sigh. "All right, all right. Okay Cream, if your friends," he switched to a spooky voice, "_seeee all and heeeaar all_, then how do we beat the E-100s?" 

"They're invincible," Stuart added. 

Cream giggled. "Aww, that's easy! Once ya know howta beat Reappearing Henchmen, they're no biggie." 

"Reappearing Henchmen?" 

"Y'can't destroy 'um," Cream explained knowingly, "but'cha can do lotsa bad stuff tuh disable' em. Y'can push 'em offa cliff, or run 'em over. The bestest way tuh stop 'um is with a rock or somethin' big!" 

Sonic and Stuart glanced over the railing and the two-dimensional Delta. "Sonic," Stuart muttered, "The mall has a radio station on the third floor. They transmit using an antenna tower from the roof…" 

The hedgehog boarded the same train of thought and smiled. "I can lure them up there, if you can get that tower loose or something." 

Cream interrupted. "Wait, hang on…" Her ears stiffened and she nodded her head to silent instructions. "Okay, gotcha! Mr. Teacher Sir, my friends say they saw a party store on this floor. They say they'll have lotsa firecrackers an' stuff. We can use those ta blow off the tower." 

Stuart clapped his hands. "Brilliant! Sonic, if you can keep the robots busy awhile…" 

The blue blur grinned. "They won't get me a second time, not once I start a chase. Ten minutes enough time?" 

"We'll make it enough time. Get to it!" 

Sonic grinned. "See ya on the roof." He zipped off. 

The rabbit and her pet were already scampering off to the Fireworks Fun House – Stuart recalled the outlet from his youth. He smiled and watched her go, then leaned into his watch. 

"Agent _Mean ol' Mr. Mustard_ reporting: interesting development here, and I need to request additional surveillance on the house from now on. Apparently, the rabbit has learned the technique of Fourth-Walling…" 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

"LAAAADIES AAAAAND GENTLEMEN! BOYS AAAAND GIRLS! MECHAS OF ALL AGES! IT'S TIME TO PLAY **HEDGEHOG HAMMER!**" 

E-101 Beta waited for the applause-track to play over his vox. He tapped an arm-cannon to his pseudo-chin in an expression of deep thought. 

"AND JUST HOW DO YOU PLAY?" he asked. "IT'S QUITE SIMPLE: **HAMMER THE HEDGEHOG!**" 

His cannons switched to rapid fire. Amy screeched and dived out of the bullet trail. She tumbled across the tiles. Hovering in helicopter-mode, Beta gave a jolly laugh. "HO HO! What can I say? Girls always _fall_ for a guy like me! WHA HA!" 

Panting, Amy got to her knees and tried to crawl away. A metal foot slammed down before her path. She looked up at the red robot, dread taking its hold. 

"OOOH, you're gonna be sorry for standing me up, my little Digital Dream-Girl! Gamma there, he's a real _lady-killer_! WHOA HO!" 

"Sir, that is quite uncalled for! Where is your honour?" 

"Recycling Bin, I think …" 

A third voice came with the whirl of a propeller. "S'cuse me! Comin' Thru!" Tails dived between the mechas and seized Amy by the wrist. Gamma and Beta turned their heads and followed the escaping fox. 

"HE CAN FLY?" Beta gaped. "WHAT'S HIS NAME? MARY-SUE?" 

Gamma was already charging after, gun-hand ablaze. The Ground Commander saw it was time to make chase. "Gigabyte Girl, one way or another, I'm gonna getcha! MAX THRUST!" 

Amy's sudden rescue left her too stunned for words, but she screamed plenty as Tails took her on a rapid air chase through the mall. Laser beams streaked the air around them and only some expert bobbing and weaving through the air kept Tails from being fried. The fox made quick glances back at his pursuers, hardly sparing any time for the path ahead. 

"TAILS, WATCH OUT!" 

Amy forced his eyes forward: a water fountain – the kind that fired jets in intervals and could spray so high as the third floor. Tails yelped and pointed his nose skyward, heading vertical with a geyser he just barely missed. Gamma watched their progress and fired a missile ahead, into their path. 

Tails saw the energy sphere, and made with the horizontal, only to knock himself silly into the rising column of water. Amy screeched. Water in his eyes; in his tails; weighing his fur down. Tails began to weave drunkenly through the air, making a tailspin to the second floor. He and Amy crashed and rolled across the ground. 

"BOO-YAH! LET'S FINISH 'EM OFF, G-MAN!" 

One floor above, Amy was pulling a waterlogged fox to his feet. "Tails…" she gasped, "You saved me…" 

The fox accepted her hand up, and blushed modestly. "It… it was nothing," he panted over the pain in his limbs. _Wait a second…_ "I saved your life?" he gaped. 

"You sure did," the girl said with a warm smile. Even though she was soaked and her hair hung damp, her smile made her seem just lovely. "That was … pretty brave," she blushed. 

Tails was back on his feet, but she had not let go of his hand. They stood together, wet and panting out their hot breath, not quite sure what to do besides look at each other. "Your… your eyes," Amy started, "They're really blue." Her rose face went red. "Sorry, I sound stupid… I just – I just never noticed. … They're nice." 

Tails was finding it hard to do anything but breathe and return the squeeze of her hand. "Thanks," he said, feeling no less awkward. "I … I like your dress." 

Amy gave a pleasant gasp. "You noticed!" she beamed, pulling her hand away to take her skirt and pose in a curtsey. "It's a new one – I just got it. … No one noticed… oh Tails, you're so sweet." 

"Umm… umm…" 

"Here, your bangs are getting in your eyes." She raised her hand. "Let me… Whoa, I won't bite!" Tails had flinched at the new immediacy of her touch. "Here, let me…" 

Words failed. Amy took her hand and her fingers trembled up the fox's cheek. She didn't know why she was so nervous, or why it took such daring to raise her touch to his forehead and smooth back his hair. She only knew that she could not take her hand away – it ran across his head and past his ear. Tails drew a sharp breath – and suddenly Amy was cupping his head in her palm, bringing it close to her own. She could see her own eyes tremble in the newly discovered sapphires of this brave little fox. Tails leaned his face closer. 

"_Ewwww_! Tails, your breath _stinks_!" 

The little fox suddenly had very tiny pupils. His mouth – hovering in an O-shape just a second ago – flattened out and zipped back behind his nose. He looked as though some cataclysmic catastrophe had just occurred. "My… my … my …" 

"It's so gross," Amy illustrated. "Did you have tuna fish? I _hate_ tuna fish; it's all … icky and stuff. Plus they make it from all those poor baby dolphins!" She thought for a moment and gasped. "You don't eat dolphins, do you Miles Prower?" Her eyes were glassy orbs ready to shatter. 

"I…I… I… I…" 

"He'll be eating lead. Is that close enough?" 

Tails and Amy turned and gave an exaggerated gasp. "OHH!" Beta had an arm cannon in each of their faces. Gamma flanked. The two youngsters backed away, slowly – eyes mesmerized by the weapons at point-blank range. 

Gamma was swift to give orders. "It is unnecessary to engage combat. Surrender quietly and your lives will be spared for brutal, hourly torture." 

Tails looked to Amy. "Amy? If uh, you have any uh, deep, emotional secrets you were uh, always too afraid to reveal, now might be good time to get them off your chest." 

"You're first, fox boy." Beta fired. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

"Are we there yet?" 

"Naw." 

"Are we there yet?" 

"Naw." 

"… _Now_ are we there yet?" 

Epsilon spun around and fired his gun into the ceiling. "Ah keep tellyn' yah, NAW! Shaddup an' start scannin' fer hedgehawgs!" 

_Organics Detected_. That was his internal computer, and it pointed right behind… 

Epsilon spun and whipped out his pistol arm. The hedgehog dodged left and right and kept motoring forward, delivering a leaping kick at the mech's torso. Epsilon crumbled into Zeta. 

"Yee-haw!" Sonic whooped. "Time to wrangle up the cattle!" And he tore around the robots with a fire-hose in tow. Soon they were wrapped tighter than tiny Tommy tying trying tongue twisters 

The hedgehog snapped to a halt and grinned over his catch. "Here's some _noose_ for yah, my _bound-up_ buddies: you're at the end of your _rope_! Well, I can see you're both _wrapped up_ at the moment, so I'll just mosey on off, _reel_ slow." 

"No fair!" Zeta whined. E-104 grunted and struggled. "Yew shure do talk fast, partner," he spit. With a grunt, the orange mecha snapped his bonds and stood up. 

"But let's see haw ya dance." 

Lasers fired into the floor and Sonic made his feet jump as lighting. Epsilon snarled and lunged, whipping the hedgehog with his hand. "Time te kick yer kiester, bluebell!" 

They struggled and fought and finally Sonic pushed away, only to dodge more blows from Zeta. "Before that rope stunt, I was whiny-child disgruntled," E-105 snapped. "But now you've pushed me – I'm going to full-out mailman mode!" 

Sonic went skidding across the floor, with not even two minutes under his belt. _This is gonna be a looonng distraction_, he sighed. Then he got to his feet and dashed away. 

"Now what in 'tarnation are yew waitin' fer?" Epsilon raged. He slapped his partner upside the head. "Dawn't just watch 'im – GET 'IM!" 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

With a punch of air and a flash, the missile launched from its torpedo tube, spinning towards the gaping fox. Death seemed to heighten his senses – he could see the grinning Eggman logo stamped on the nosecone, laughing at him with every rotation. He could see the _Made in Taiwan_ copyright engraved down the smart bomb's side. And his eyes opened up more and more until he could see his entire life! 

_Here Sonic, catch this power ring! _

Don't worry, Sonic. I'll fly you there in the X-Tornado! 

Head lice? 

Sonic! Grab this power ring! 

How high should I jump, Sonic? 

Sonic an' A-my sittin' in a tree… 

But how did you know it was a fake emerald? 

Hang on, Sonic! I've got a power ring! 

"You're first, fox boy." 

With a punch of air and a flash, the missile launched from its torpedo tube… 

"What … oh no, I'm back…" 

The missile never actually hit him. There was still about a meter's distance from his body when it detonated and let loose a fireball. But the shrapnel never hit him. The flame supernova expanded though, and fiery horses charged forward, but that never even singed him. A slower ring of sound waves shrieked out, but – c'mon – unless it's coming from Ella's mouth, sound isn't likely to hurt. 

So Tails survived being bludgeoned by shrapnel, burned by flames and deafened by noise. It was rather the force projected by the distant explosion that knocked him in the chest and sent him flying through the air… 

And into a toy store, where he crumpled against a display of colourful beach balls. The stack of spheres collapsed and buried the fox in a non-lethal grip of paralysis. 

Amy screamed. "TAILS!" 

"We never actually _hit_ them, do we?" Gamma checked. 

"Let's test that out." Beta clicked his arms at the panicking hedgehog. Amy paled and started backing off. 

Casanova Beta stepped after her, laughing. "Sorry, my little Software Sweetie, but I've got orders. Maybe someday I'll write a story about our tragic love and post it on the Internet…" 

Amy inched into the toy store, looking around for some sort of weapon. Her eyes flashed – squirt guns on sale – 20% off! Amy snatched the display model and thrust the water pistol at the mechas. 

"Stay away!" she trembled. "I'm warning you." 

Beta exploded. "HA! A _water gun_?" He shoved his face down and sneered. "Does my little Netscape Nymph think she can short us out with that ittie-bittie plastic shooter?" The hedgehog cowered and shut her eyes. "We're water-proof, little missy! Whatcha gonna do 'bout that?" 

The ground commander scared a blind shot out of Amy. A hot beam of red energy sizzled out the pistol and scorched through a light fixture. The light smashed on Gamma's helmet. 

"Huh?" Beta spun around and looked at his brother – unharmed, but equally confused. The black E-series gave a worried little tick. 

"… that … wasn't water…" 

Amy didn't understand this any further, but she knew she had defence. She took a confident pose and aimed at the red robot. Heat beams lanced out of the gun barrel and sent Gamma flying through the air. E-102 clanged into the second-story railing with a smoky hole through his chest. Beta followed this with a stupefied look. 

"But-but-but… BUT THAT KIND OF GUN ISN'T SUPPOSED TO SHOOT LASERS!" he shouted on behalf of the masses. 

Amy fired, and chewed off his shoulder joint. She fired again and blew away his right cannon. 

"GAHH! That was my _writing hand_, you crazy psycho!" 

She fired and laser beams rammed dead center in the chest. Beta accelerated out of the store and collided into Gamma with enough force to slam through the balcony railing. The mechas screamed and flailed their limb and Amy rushed over just in time to catch their final moment before they shrank away and plunged into the abyss. 

Gamma fell into the water fountain. Beta landed face-first on the ground. 

But the pain was not yet over for the E-Series: Gamma' foot had landed on the fountain rim and split through the concrete like an axe on wood. Water dripped and the crack began to spread… 

The waters broke through their barrier, slopping and spilling to the tiled floor and forging a path down the hallway. A current was building and it began to push the cherry-red robot downstream. Gamma panicked, but he was fixed to his back! "no… No… NOO!" he protested as the miniature raging river swallowed him whole and carried him out of the plaza and out of the concern of Team Good Guys and anyone else who might be observing the scene. 

Beta, meanwhile, was hauling his banged-up chassis off the floor when something terrible caught his eye: his earlier shooting had shattered the glass windows of many shops, including the bicycle outlet before his smashed body. And the vibrations from his fall had wobbled one sleek, black mountain bike in the display window off its bindings. The bike was inching forward, ready to drop to ground level. Beta twitched and frightened sparks jumped from his face like sweat. 

"Ohhh no…" he warned the bike, waving his cannon stump at the teetering two-wheeler. "Noo… Noo… Please don't drop, please don't …" 

The front tire dropped to the floor with the crashing power of an SUV. Beta's optics blasted to frightened yellow. "No… No…" The mecha wriggled and spun, trying to stand up, but his fall had left too many injuries. All he could manage was to flip on his stomach and crawl. 

The back tire made an impact with the floor. The bike picked up speed and bee-lined for the handicapped mecha. 

"Oh no, oh no." Beta started crawling faster, trying to put pace between his body and the wheels of destruction. But it was gaining! The panicky E-Series dragged himself like a seal across ice, but the bike closed the gap! 

Beta collapsed from strain, twitching and crying. He had only enough time to rotate his head around and confirm that the bike was still coming. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" 

Amy had to flinch and look away. E-101 Beta attacked her ears one final time with the snapping of metal bones, the crunching of steel cartilage and the squeeeeze-_Pop!_ of mechanical organs spilling their drippy fluids over the floor. 

When it was over, she peeked over the railing to see what damage the rampaging vehicle had caused. Amy shuddered. … It was too horrible to describe… 

"Tails!" She suddenly remembered the poor boy and rushed back to the store, digging through the mound of balls for the fox. "Tails!" she exclaimed again, once she unearthed his body. 

"Amy…" he coughed, sooty and dishevelled from the crushing avalanche of novelty playthings. "You saved me…" 

But she wasn't listening. "Look!" and she pointed to a flash of blue light, hunted by bursts of missile tails. "Sonic's in trouble! We have to help him!" 

Tails sprang to his feet. "He's heading for the roof! And the super-mechas are following him! I'm wondering if Sonic's trying to pull some sort of diversion by leading a chase…" 

"Tails! Let's just shut up and do something for a change! Airlift me!" 

The fox's ears jumped and his tails flickered nervously. "Amy, you seem different to me. What happened to you?" 

The damsel hedgehog just smiled smugly, pulled out her water gun and spun it around her finger. 

"Let's just say I'm in the mood to _break_ the stereotypes." 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Compacted into wheel-mode, the two relentless E-bots were more than able to keep the speedy hedgehog in range. A blue flash would zip by, then the whiz of laser bolts and then the ripping engines of the two gunner mechs. 

"Two more minutes…" Sonic grinned breathlessly. Lasers flew past and into the floor and shop windows. 

"Idjit! Shewt _at_ 'im, nawt _around_ 'im!" 

Sonic skidded to a halt before a door marked Staff Only. This maintenance corridor would take him to the roof, but first he'd buy his friends a few extra seconds. 

Epsilon and Zeta accelerated at him… 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

"There! That's the last leg." Stuart dusted his hands off. The skeleton-frame antenna tower now had a bundle of firecrackers strapped around all four of its support pillars. 

"Do you have matches, Sensei Stuart?" 

The spy flashed the butane lighters he'd picked up and tossed one to the rabbit. "I've got something even better. Once Sonic comes up here, we light the fuses and let this thing fall. Is your pet ready?" 

The Chao was currently rummaging through the crate of sparklers and rockets hauled onto the roof, turning the curiosities over in his stubby paws and sniffing and chewing. "Cheese is ready," Cream nodded. The crate was positioned just outside the stretching shadow of the tower, where Sonic needed to stand and lure the mechas into the trap. 

Stuart nodded and guided Cream into position underneath the tower. His supervisors would have pulled him out of the field if they knew he was bringing this child into combat, but the spy's intuition told him that no matter how hard he tried to keep children like Cream or Chris – yes, especially Christopher – out of danger, they would only double their efforts to defy him and enter the action. 

The rabbit at his side was shivering. The spy's conscience gave him a forceful nudge. "Err, Cream, that was mighty impressive how you stopped that robot. You must be a very brave girl." 

"Re-re-really, Sensei Stuart?" 

"Of course. You know, my student Chris tells me all about Sonic and the rest of his new friends…" Light flashed across his glasses – he couldn't help it. "… But, I've never heard much about you." 

"Mama Ella doesn't like me goin' out ta fight and stuff." 

"Well she's certainly underestimated you – I mean, Cream, you stopped that blue robot all by yourself! And you seem to be quite the strategist as well." He knelt by her side and smiled. "And I'm curious… how _did_ you know how to defeat these ultimate mechas?" 

"I dunno. I guess I just watch lots of TV." 

Just then, the trap door to the rooftop blew off its hinges. Cream and Stuart and Cheese gasped as a fiery blue quill-ball flew out the hole and smacked down on the stony roof. 

"OHH!" 

"CHAO!" 

"MR. SONIK-SAN!" 

Sonic was rolling around the gravely floor, trying to smother the flames licking his quills. "Get out of here!" he yelled, singed and with shorter spines. "Stu, they're too much – this isn't gonna work…" 

The E-Series were not limited to conventional entrances. Hot beams of light blasted through the rooftop and Epsilon and Zeta rocketed through the concrete! 

Fire blew from 104's gun arm. "Yeeee-Haw!" Epsilon whooped as he swept his flamethrower through the air. "Nothin' lake a good ol' campfire under the open stars, heh heh heh!" Sonic just managed to roll away from further burns. 

Cream was going hysterical. Stuart clamped his hand over her mouth. "They haven't seen us yet! We have to stick to the plan!" 

"But… but…" She heard Sonic's cries of pain once more. 

The teacher grabbed her firmly. "Sonic will make it!" 

Explosions tore up the roof and sent Sonic flying. His body was so numb with pain; he didn't think he could feel himself scrape across the gravel anymore. He tried standing up… 

"Chao, chao!" 

Cheese? Yes, he could see the virtual pet, waving him forward. He had to get there… 

Zeta screamed. "Geez, just lay down and be destroyed already!" The E-Series marched over and kicked him across the roof. Sonic tumbled over to Cheese. The Chao squeaked and flapped over to the hedgehog, prodding the lump of blue fur, but Sonic did not get up. 

Epsilon reloaded. "All right pinko, let's you an' me finish this tinhorn!" 

Stuart released the rabbit. "They're moving up close! Go, go!" He rushed to the first leg and lit the intertwined fuses. Ah! The sparks burnt his fingers! 

"Chao! Chao!" Cheese was tugging the hedgehog's ear, trying to pull him up, but Sonic wouldn't' move. The ground trembled at the approaching mechas. 

Stuart lit the second support beam. His palms were burnt by the effort, though. "Mr. Stuart?" Cream whispered urgently, but he did not hear over the pain in his hands. 

Sonic mumbled something. "Chaochao!" Cheese prodded vigorously. "Chao!!!" 

Black feet stomped before the fallen hedgehog. 

Stuart tried to produce a flame for the third leg. Darn it, his hand was the only thing this lighter was burning! Cream tried again, calling louder. "Mr. Stuart." 

Cheese barred his fangs and growled at the robots, but Zeta merely kicked it away. Under the shadow of the antenna tower, he and Epsilon were black wraiths with vicious green eyes. 

E-104 toggled his gun arm to flamethrower. "What'll it be, partner? Flash-fried, or slow-roasted?" 

"Chao!" 

Fire popped from Epsilon's gun barrel. He lowered it to Sonic's head. "Ahm not much of a cook though – if ah ain't careful, ah reckon ah might just _burn_ this here critter." 

Third fuse lit! Stuart sucked on his black fingers and made to run, when he noticed the rabbit lingering at ground zero! He snapped out, "Cream, light the fuse and start moving! This'll fall over any moment!" 

The rabbit huddled nervously by the last support leg. "Sensei Stuart, I'm not allowed to play with matches…" 

A vein in Stuart's head popped. His muscles contracted violently and his glasses filled with spiderweb cracks. 

Epsilon laughed. "Hedgehawg flambé, cumin' up!" 

"Mama Ella says their too dangerous an' someone could get hurt…" 

The spy twitched, the lighter opened, and fire consumed his hands once more. 

"GAAAH!!!" 

And with that final provocation, all the rage the man had suppressed his entire life blasted out! Adrenaline and anger flew to his head, ballooning it to monstrous proportions! His insides were burning – the murderous flames could be seen in his eyes! His temples throbbed in humongous, square patches and his pupils rolled back until his eyes were demonically pale! And he screamed! And out poured all his rage in red-hot flames of righteous anger! Cream yelped and jumped away as the exaggerated rage of Sensei Stuart engulfed the final support tower, and detonated every last explosive. 

CRACK! PSSEWW! KA-POW! Fireworks unleashed their colourful sparklers! EEE-**BOOM!** Metal warped and snapped under the direct contact of the wiz-bangers and flash-poppers! One leg after the other blossomed with flames and began to creak loudly. 

Zeta detected the noise. "Hey, what's that?" 

Epsilon stood tall and pulled his flamethrower from Sonic's face. "Ah dawn't know. Reckon we aughta turn 'round an' see what it is, though." 

So they turned around. And they looked up. And they saw the antenna tower, once perfectly perpendicular to the ground, now becoming a dangerous imitation of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. 

And they kept looking. 

And the tower kept falling. 

And Sonic regained just enough consciousness to see the growing shadow, sweatdrop, and slink out of range. 

And Epsilon and Zeta and kept watching, mesmerized like deer caught in approaching headlights. 

Epsilon was beginning to have a bad feeling. "Maybe it'll miss us?" he suggested. 

E-105 was nowhere as optimistic. Zeta pouted. "I _don't like_ falling things…" 

And then the tower crushed them. 

The fall threw great sheets of smoke into the air. Sonic coughed and waved the soot out of his face. "Game Over, E-bots!" 

"Mr. Sonic-san! You're all right!" 

Sonic winced, but he let the rabbit and her Chao seize his waist and squeeze him to death. "Never felt better," he chuckled. Actually, he did feel pretty fresh. His spines had grown back; the singed or burnt pieces of his body had healed over – he was as perfectly healthy as when this adventure had first started. 

Stuart joined the group, a little breathless, but looking all right. The hedgehog collected a cordial pat on the back. "Good work, Sonic." 

"Hey, thanks for the help today, Stu!" 

The teacher rubbed his raw hands and smiled. "Yes, well … I've certainly had my share of excitement for this year." _Not to mention used up all my get-out-of-death-scenario-free cards, you imbecile_. "I hope you don't mind if I decline to join your next adventure … and, in fact, every subsequent journey you undertake." 

Sonic nodded politely. "Sure pal. we'll miss ya, though." _You jerk! You can't just leave me with Tanaka and Chuck next time!_

"Yes, well, I'm not much of an action man. Maybe I'll just stick to… _observing_ from the sidelines." The light flickered off his cracked glasses. 

"I guess everyone's gotta do their own thing. Well, thanks for everything, Stuart." _You starchy old hippy._

"The pleasure was all mine." _Maniac anthropomorph._

A squeal split the air. "SONIC!!" Amy attached herself like a leech to the blue hedgehog. Sonic paled like a flower in winter. 

"Err… hiya Amy." He looked around for an escape route. "Oh, you brought Tails too. How's it goin', little buddy?" 

"…" The fox was equally white and stiff as his hero. Sonic reflected that he and Tails probably shared some deep, spiritual bond that let them experience each other's joys and discomforts. Why else would Tails pale so deeply at seeing Amy squeeze his neck off? 

"Iyy, um… I'm cool, Sonic." He sunk and whimpered. 

When Sonic had finally detached his admires and everyone had positioned into a friendly group, Stuart felt it was right to speak again. "Well, I suppose everything is finished around here. I think it's time we left." 

A lonesome guitar began to pluck the air with the sombre determination of the Wild West. 

"Whoa!" Tails jumped. "Why did the background music just switch to Spaghetti-Western?" 

The safety lock dropped off a gun. "Cause maybe you varmints ain't done 'ere yet!" 

Everyone stiffened, feeling an invisible weapon shoved in his or her back. Amy and Cream latched on to Sonic, reducing his mobility. Even Tails and Stuart huddled close. 

"Turn 'round! Nice an' slowly…" 

They all obeyed the accented voice, and came face-to-face with E-104 Epsilon. The mecha had lost his grasping arm, but his gun was still attached to his smashed and cracked hull. He took an uneasy step forward – his legs had been twisted in the rubble – and looked over his enemies with his one good eye. 

"Well ain't this here a surprise," Epsilon snarled. "Not as banged up as yeh thaught ah wus." His left leg twitched and he had to lean on a crate to support himself. Sonic tried moving, but they were all too bunched up! There was no way he could attack or dodge! 

The E-Series Cowboy snarled. "Ah may be busted-up, but all y'all gonna be blasted up!" Epsilon tagged everyone with his laser sight – even Cheese. The Chao gave a shocked gasp. 

Epsilon's first shot was for the hedgehog. Sonic gasped. "Ohh!" There was no way out! 

"Last Requests?" Epsilon inquired. 

Sonic looked around for some escape route. _Wait a sec…_ The crate Epsilon was leaning on… it was the crate of explosives Stuart had brought to the roof! The hedgehog made eye contact and bade the teacher to notice. 

He got a confirming nod. Stuart reached for his lighter… 

"Well, Last Request?" Epsilon snapped. 

Sonic grinned. "Yeah, I've got one: I hope you have a _dynamite_ day!" 

While Epsilon did a double take, Stuart gave the lighted flamer an underhand toss into the box. 104 Sneered at Sonic. "Now what in 'tarnation was that all about? Yew tryin' tuh be funny, partner? … Hey… why y'all lookin' at mah feet?" 

Actually, it was not his feet the mammals were observing, but the hissing sparks from the crate he balanced upon. Oily sweat dripped down Epsilon's face. 

"Uh-oh…" 

Team Good Guys covered themselves as the entire crate of fireworks erupted in a mega-explosion! Epsilon went sailing into the air, spinning out of control and shrinking into the horizon, yelping something about _'blasting off again'_. 

But then he was just another twinkle in the sky. Fireworks sailed into the air, pronouncing victory in celebratory explosions of sparkling colours. Everyone gasped, but for the first time that evening, it was not a fearful or astonished gasp, it was a pleasant gasp of wonder. 

"Ahhhh." 

The sounds of crackling excitement were joined by the hum of twin engines. Everyone looked back and saw the dark form of Robotnik's questionable copyright infringement, The Eggfort Two 2, rising up and hovering before the shopping mall. A green laser fired from its underside, and the ground beneath everyone's feet shook. 

"This mall is going to collapse!" Stuart declared. "We've got to get out of here!" 

No one needed another thought: The unbreakable bonds of friendship moved the team into action. Cream took Stuart's hand. Sonic took Amy's hand. Tails tried to take Amy's hand, but ended up having Cheese jump on his arm instead. Together, they ran for the edge of the roof, dodging the splinters cracking through the building, and with one mighty push, they leapt! 

A fireball engulfed the mall and everything visible in the background. Its shockwaves propelled them out and away to safety. Cream flapped her ears and guided Stuart away. Tails held Cheese to his chest and spun his rotary blades. Sonic just grinned, and by the power of his cool, laissez-faire attitude, he was able to land on his feet with nary a broken bone. Amy smiled and pulled herself nice and tight. 

Regrouped once more, Team Good Guys watched the site of their latest adventure burn to the ground, while the Eggfort Two 2 sped into the horizon, carrying Robotnik and his flunkies to safety. A red dawn was rising. 

"Well guys," Sonic grinned, "Put down another notch on the scoreboard, cause we won again!" 

Cream, Cheese and Tails whooped and punched the air. "ALL RIGHT!" Stuart looked at them all incredulously. 

And Amy? Amy's glassy eyes reflected the flickering fires, and were ready to crack under the strain of tears. 

"NAAHHH!!" she screamed, falling to her knees and sobbing into the new morning. "You maniacs! You blew it up! And there was a sale on today!!!!" 

And as the sun rose, everyone else noticed Amy's predicament, and they all joined in a hearty laugh at her misfortune. 

  
  
_

The End.

_

  
"Is it?" Tails confirmed. "I mean, have we really seen the end of the E-100 Series?" 

Stuart crossed his arms and frowned at the burnt-down mall. "I just don't know. You saw how that cowboy survived the falling antenna tower. It could be possible that the others also survived the great calamities we brought down upon them." 

Amy wiped her eyes dry. "Maybe Eggman was telling the truth. Maybe they really are indestructible." 

They all looked to Sonic, seeking his wisdom. 

The hedgehog just laughed. "I say, if those guys really are coming for a rematch, then bring it on! I could use another good work-out like that!" 

Amy shook her head. "You don't take anything seriously, do you, Sonic?" 

The hedgehog just smirked. 

"Well," Tails said to summarize, "Maybe we did beat them, and maybe we didn't. But one thing's for sure: As long as Eggman has that book, things around here are gonna get a whole lot weirder…" 

"Pikachu!" 

They all turned around and looked to Cream and her cuddly chao sidekick. "Chee-chu?" he offered. Stuart blanked. 

Point proven, Tails nodded and joined his friends to watch the rising sun. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 


End file.
